Usually I stand at the mirror and use it. This morning I was sitting on my bed
I vaguely remember thinking that this
Suddenly I realized I went a little too high with my
But fortunately I still had BOTH brows.
The Explosion-Proof phone I had never heard of this one
The Two-Person Listening Phone
The Genie phone
And of course, my favorite...
Yes, I stand at the backdoor and yell "CHEERIOS!!" when the cat goes outside and doesn't come home in a timely fashion.
I guess it could be worse. All these years, I could've been standing at the backdoor yelling "CHICKEN FINGERS".
Bring on Spring!!!
Hazel, checking my layout
Hazel, pointing out something she'd like changed
Ok. Now that I've got that out of my system, I want you (yes, YOU) to go over to House of Jules blog as she has a very funny post and video. Trust me. You'll get a kick out of it.
Hazel and Kathy, signing out....
"Pay no attention to the secretary behind the curtain!"
(Or the Minister. But she can get her own blog. "Hi Boss!")
And I start to hope that I can get everything done in a timely manner before I am forced to don my OTHER suit...
I would be the one on the left...
Isn't it the cutest thing?!? I swear just driving it takes 10 years off my age. (Except when I try to put it in drive and my windshield wipers come on).
And the girls are now happily swimming in a warm indoor pool and mom has her feet up and is starting a new book…all down at the Cape. The End.
These new People Movers are really something. Add a potty and you could live in there. Multiple DVD players, satellite radio, seats that pivot around to a table, and bum warmers. It's decked out better than my house. To heck with adding on a family room - I'll just buy one of these all-the-frills minivans!
I can understand the thinking behind it - we mom's spend half our life driving kids around. My time transporting kids really began when my Darling Daughter started kindergarten. This was in 2000. That's when we got our People Mover. It was a bit of an adjustment - sort of like learning to drive a city bus - but I liked it. I was the envy of the preschool - backseat doors opened on BOTH sides - woo hoo!
But we've come a long way baby. All the high tech gadgets they put in vehicles nowdays are pretty amazing. Can't you just imagine what Great-Grandpa would say - "Back in my day we appreciated our automobiles more because we had to work for it! We had to get out of the car and crank it just to get it to start! And we didn't have paved roads, either! We bounced around so much we nearly lost our teeth! And while we're on the subject of you young people, what's with this new music and all the hipping and the hopping???"
The hubs and I have always said when we finally get rid of this People Mover we will get something smaller and more energy efficient. But I now know this: it will not have a seat warmer. Because me driving feeling like this...
...would be way too dangerous for everyone on the road.
"Age is an issue of mind over matter; if you don't mind, it doesn't matter." Mark Twain
"Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you're a cheese." Billie Burke
Have you had one of those moments when it hit you like a Ton Of Bricks, "Good God, I'm OLD".
"We don't stop playing because we grow old...we grow old because we stop playing." George Bernard Shaw
Things I love about living in a small town in New England:
You know almost everybody in town, including their kids and pets.
You know who has had surgery or is laid up, and a casserole brigade is started.
The police call log has listings like “Horses wandering in road” and “Sheep loose”…and the worst vandalism in many years is “Shampoo dropped in library book return”.
The high school doesn’t even have locks on the student lockers, and there is no theft.
Having one (ONE!) homeless person, his name is Charley, and he does not want your help, thank you. (He has assistance already lined up but chooses to live a hobo’s life)
Things I do NOT love about living in a small town in New England:
Everybody in town knows every member of your family, including eccentric Uncle Jack who left town to join the circus.
In the first month of moving to town, buying a cookie jar at a multi-family yard sale, you don’t know any of the families... and three days later being approached by someone not even AT the yard sale, asking if you would like the original box for that cookie jar, because they still have it in their attic. (I don’t know – is this a good thing or a bad thing? I guess it depends on how badly you want the box. At the time, being new to town, it made me feel a little like I was being stalked...)
You can never flip anybody off in traffic (traffic - hah!) because SOMEBODY knows who you are (especially if you are a secretary at one of the only two churches in town)
Being pulled over for speeding by one of the three patrol cars…and getting a stern warning from the Officer…who is also the middle-aged son of your knitting instructor (embarrassing!) (are you sensing a trend here?)
Saturday in-town errands must be completed by NOON because everything closes at noon – this means a trip to the general store, the lumberyard/hardware store, the transfer station (dump), the library-the-size-of-my-bedroom, and the post office. (By the way, our new post office has TWO windows at the counter! TWO! ! Count 'em!)
Even though each of these stops is within a mile and a half of each other, each stop takes a half an hour minimum because you keep seeing people you know and have to stop to chat. (This could go either way, depending on how much of a hurry you are in.)
Thanks to Verizon, when I call my next door neighbor I must dial 10 digits. (used to only have to dial four...."Hello Sara? It's Aunt Bea! Get me Andy down at the sheriff's office!")
And the biggest thing I don't like...snow, snow, SNOW! WAY too much winter!!!!
(OH, and being forced to use lots of italics and parenthesis when typing. It's in the town by-laws.)
The thing is, see, I wasn't always like this. When I lived alone I had a tidy place. I loved my single-chick apartment. LOVED IT. I was a mostly-carefree career girl who loved to get out and go places, have adventures, see the world. Which is how I met and eventually ended up falling in love with a man who lived on the other side of the country.
"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage".
Somewhere in there I lost it. I LOST CONTROL. I have lots of theories on the whys and hows. It all makes great sense. I could sit here for quite a spell and tell you all my theories. In fact, let's do that - I'll put the tea kettle on, we'll get comfy...and then I don't have to actually get up and FACE THE MESS.
Look up "Housekeeper" in the dictionary and it will say "NOT KATHY'. There will be a picture of me, smiling in denial... with a red slash across my face.
You get the point.
Now we get to the good part. (Good for me, I mean). Today my friend "K" came over to help me. Does that make me too lame for words? "I can't take care of my own house, waahhh!" Yep, I felt pretty lame. "K" is one of those artsy women, you know the ones. She can take a dead tree branch and turn it into a gorgeous wall sconce for holding votive candles. The kind that I always wished I could be but just don't have the knack or the talent. (She has one heck of a green thumb as well but since we won't be seeing anything green here in New England for at least another month, I'll wait to tell you those stories).
It turned out to be wonderful! Incredible! Totally FABOO!!! We focused on my baker's rack in the kitchen, which, while holding useful and important stuff, also tends to get clogged up with lots of not-so-useful and really unimportant stuff. Valentine's cards I bought six weeks in advance but never got around to mailing, birthday gifts for folks whose birthday is four months away, odds and ends that go someplace else but ONE of us was too lazy to put it back where it belonged. (One of us....I'm not sayin'....might be me....could be me....OKAY IT'S ME, ALRIGHT!?!? Enough already with the guilt!!)
We spent two hours visiting, tossing and sorting ...this goes back to the living room bookcase, that can go to Good Will, save this for the church yard sale, etc. (Yes, I am that lame.)
In fact we enjoyed the time together so much we're going to do it again. I figure, if she comes over for two hours every Monday morning, my house should be looking fabulous by the year 2010. July 17, 2010. Write that down. You're invited for tea.
This is the "other woman" in my husband's life.
At one time my husband's hobby was renovating this old house of ours. Those of you married to engineers will understand this immediately - being an engineer, he knew no one would be able to do the work as perfectly as he could. No professional contractor for us, no way!
Of course he didn't take into consideration that he is a workaholic who gets a nervous tic if he is away from the office for too long. So, yes, he COULD do all this work, but does he have TIME to do it? (that's a big NO, good buddy).
But I digress.
Ever since The Other Woman came into our lives, progress on the house renovation came to a complete stand still. Putting up sheet rock is boring when you could be outside moving dirt and REAL ROCKS around! (The point of moving all those rocks around escapes me - other than the chance to drive the tractor, I mean.)
So it's been a love/hate relationship between me and The Other Woman. I just know that if they made an indoor tractor, my house would be DONE, baby, DONE!
But now that we're a few years older, I've let my feelings soften towards her.
Yesterday's snowfall was a wet and heavy 8 inches of white torture. Being the good sport of a wife that I am, I cleared the snow off the unruly items (deck, steps, vehicles) but then I had to raise my white flag. That was it for me - I was too pooped to pop.
That's when SHE stepped in. The two of them cleared the driveway in no time. ["Huzzah!", the villagers cheered!]
Final wifely decision: Dirt and rock moving - silly. Snow moving - FABULOUS.
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