Monday, September 15, 2008

Today's Hair

You guys probably thought I was exagerating!! Nope! Finally made it into the ladies room just before I left work at 4:30 - look at the hair I'd been parading around with all day!!!

A little fireman humor?

In a previous post, I told you about the old New England church in which I work, and I showed you a few pictures of outside, the views from the church. I didn't show you ONE view - primarily because they were still building it - the new fire station. Standing directly in front of my door, with my back to the church ....

and looking to the right, this is what you see...

Now - this MAY just be a coincidence.... But two days in a row, as I juggled my purse and portfolio and the mail from the mailbox and my ginormous cup of iced coffee, plus trying to get the key in the lock of the big ol' heavy door at the same time as I am pulling on said door with my little finger (it's a real trick to get this door open, I tell ya) ... two days in a row, the firemen have had a truck out on the driveway, and blown the siren at exactly the time I'm at my weakest moment.

Fireman humor? Or coincidence?

Both days, I about jumped out of my hair (my feet definitely left the ground), and I spilled my coffee. There's beginning to be a regular puddle in front of the door.

I've been working here four months and never had this problem. Now, two days in a row. I'm not sure if it was some weird 'testing out the sirens' thing or if they are yankin' my chain. Any thoughts?

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Vanity, thy name is NOT KathyLikesPink

One offshoot of all this construction going on at home is that all the mirrors are down. Down and gone. We didn't have a lot of mirrors to begin with, and now those that we did have are gone. Where? I'm not sure. Will they show up again? I don't know that either. Perhaps they ended up in the dumpster. I just don't know.

The only mirror I can find is a small one with a magnet, meant to go in Darling Daughter's locker but attached to the side of the 'fridge.

I have to leave the house and go out in public each day. I'm not a vain woman, but I do wish to avoid looking foolish if at all possible. Apparently it's not possible.

When looking in this tiny mirror, I see an eye, an eyebrow, a small (very small) patch of hair. I shift my head right, then left, then take the plunge and hit it with hairspray.

I arrive at work and get right to it. At Job # 1, I am "balls to the walls" busy, if you will pardon the expression. It's generally a couple of hours before I head to the ladies room. And then ... yikes!

I look in the mirror - a big, normal mirror - and realize I'm sporting an Alfalfa 'do:

Or a Rod Stewart younger-days just-got-out-of-bed tousle...

Or a Groucho part and wave...

Or worse yet - the MOE....

Thankfully, I work in a church. They're very forgiving about many things. Goofy hair doesn't faze them in the least.

Or maybe they just think of me a comedy relief.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Back in the Zone..the Construction Zone, that is

After a month of vacation, the renovations of our house have swung back into action. This is the second week of coming home to surprises.

Last week was mostly more wall demolition, and setting the new light switches and fixtures.

Monday came home to find the tub and shower out. Surprise!

We have a very narrow, short, tiny (you get the idea it's small, right?) shower in our cellar that The Hubs installed years ago. The idea was that when he came in from doing yard work and other manly stuff he could wash up downstairs without tracking crap through my kitchen. Unfortunately with his health problems, the yard work stopped shortly after the shower was installed so it's mostly not been used.

I don't want you to get the idea that this is a finished basement, or anything cozy. This is a nearly 100 year old house with a cellar to match. Spiders, anyone? Anyone? It's also pretty chilly down there.

Darling Daughter says it's just like when she spent a week at Girl Scout Camp.

Each morning we gather our little collection of personal items and traipse downstairs to shower. The first morning was a bit of a shock but it's amazing how quickly you adjust. First thing I do is check the stall for spiders.

It's amazing how big the bathroom is without the encumbrance of tub and cabinets. Our house is so small, it's hard to look at the now-empty space and not think, "Man, we could put a computer desk in here and use it as an office!"

Wish we could! But I'm not willing to rebuild the outhouse out back, so a bathroom it will be.

One last thing before I head off to work at Job # 1.

Came home Tuesday to be told "I took the toilet out today to do some work. I put it back but it's not bolted down, so don't wiggle".

Don't wiggle.

Words to live by.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I'm so tired

To quote Lily Von Schtupp from "Blazing Saddles"....I'm tired!

Here's how I feel - only replace the sexual innuendos with "church secretary"....

Sunday, September 7, 2008

I'm pooped

This has been one long week. I work at two churches, and both were gearing up for the first day of the new church year (today). I worked at Job # 1 (the BIG church) from 8:30am to 8pm. I wanted to get it all done before leaving because I didn't want to have to go in on Saturday. And everything HAD to be done by Sunday!

The new church year means that all the vacationing and wandering families are back, Sunday School begins, the choirs are back in full voice and full complement. This Sunday is a big day!

Here's an example of the difference between the two churches I work for...

During the summer months, Job # 2 (here in Tiny Town) had, on their most crowded summer Sunday, 35 people in church. Job # 1, same criteria, had 161.

In planning for today's crowd, Job # 2, we made 75 bulletins for the expected crowd. Job # 1 ... I made 400.

Since Sunday School started, and I teach Sunday School, I spent Saturday cleaning and organizing my classroom. Whoever used it during Vacation Bible School left it in a huge mess.

This year I will teach the 3rd and 4th graders. I'm looking forward to it. The past few years I've had the older kids. I look forward to the age where kids still actually LISTEN to a grown-up. Oh, you may think they don't - but believe me, they listen a lot better than the 5th and 6th graders!!!

And now, after a very busy week and weekend, I think I feel the pull of a nap. I need to rest up so I can watch Big Brother tonight!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Another week of crime in the big city tiny town:

Tiny Town Police Log

Wednesday, Aug. 20
12:11 p.m.: [xxx] Street, purse was found.
1:47 p.m.: [xxx] Street, man requested assistance while he got his boat out.
5:40 p.m.: [xxx] Road, caller reported heavy black smoke coming from a chimney.

Thursday, Aug. 21
3:11 a.m.: [xxx] Road, tree down in road.
8:40 a.m.: [xxx] Road, third person stopped a dog, was not sure if it was sick; the dog was chasing people and biting them.
10:15 a.m.: [xxx] Street, man said a fuse blew on the telephone pole.
8:21 p.m.: [xxx] Road, ambulance needed for a male with chest pressure and headache.
3:19 p.m.: [xxx] Road, woman reported a dog had been hit and went under the railing.
6:32 p.m.: [xxx] Street, ambulance needed for a female with stomach pain.

Friday, Aug. 22
12:44 p.m.: [xxx] Street, woman reported a motor vehicle that was driving all over the road.
Saturday, Aug. 23 12:31 a.m.: [xxx] Street, officer with a tractor trailer parked on the lawn by the Route [xxx] off ramp.
8:19 p.m.: [xxx] Road, caller reported fireworks being set off.
10:53 p.m.: [xxx] Street, caller reported a baby bull loose.

Monday, Aug. 25
4:56 p.m.: [xxx] Road, caller said her child was locked in a vehicle.
5:11 p.m.: [xxx] Street, [next town over] Police Department reported an erratic driver heading into Tiny Town.
7:16 p.m.: [xxx] Street, caller reported a Sirrius Radio was stolen from his vehicle. (this happened to the husband of a friend of mine. They have teenage sons, and they live in the country - I think someone who KNEW he had this radio specifically came to his house to steal it)

Tuesday, Aug. 26
4:17 a.m.: [xxx] Street, report of a loud party.
10:08 a.m.: [xxx] Street, Bolton Police Department reported a bicyclist was run off the road.
7:57 p.m.: [xxx] Road, two calls for a black Toyota vehicle with two men yelling and jumping around, then got in vehicles and took off at a high rate of speed.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

In the company of women

Tonight was the first Women's Evening Guild meeting of the new church year. This is a woman's group, connected to our church but open to all woman of the community. The Evening Guild began in 1948. Men were back from the war and a woman's job was no longer in the factories or building airplanes, but "in the home". After a few years of this staying-home-all-day-with-the-kids stuff, the women in town decided they needed a night out sans husband and children, and so began the Women's Evening Guild. It meets one evening a month, September through June. Tonight was our 60th anniversary.

Guild evenings begin with what is usually called a potluck supper, but since 1948 the Guild has called it a "covered dish supper". Sounds a little more refined, I guess. After dinner we have our business meeting, and after the meeting there is a program of one sort or another.

I have been involved with this group since 1995. I am the youngest member. Have I mentioned that I will be 50 years old in a couple of days? I am the YOUNGEST MEMBER.

This is the hardest working group of women I've ever known. A couple of them are in their 60's; most are in their 70's, and a good handful are in their 80's. Yet they work harder than the younger women in our church. They bake and sew and knit and paint and hammer and glue, and it all creates one heck of a Friendship Village Fair every November.

Whenever our church asks the Guild for money, whether to help pave a driveway, buy a commercial dishwasher for the church kitchen, mend the 150 year old plaster ceiling, the Guild comes through. They've bought the past two computers used in the church office and are about to purchase another one. They bought the folding chairs, the 200 sets of dishes in the cupboard, and paid for the church kitchen to be repainted. Not to mention, they put on one HECK of a funeral collation (reception after a funeral).

Have I mentioned the ages of these ladies? I'm the YOUNGEST MEMBER!!!

I love going to the Guild meetings. I've learned so much from these women. We talk about men and children and what's going on in town. I've learned the history of women whose children are older than I am. I've learned to knit (poorly - I am the only remedial knitting student). I've learned how to pound a nail into old horsehair plaster to hang a picture in such a way that the plaster doesn't crumble. I've been given trusted family recipes. I've grieved with them when husbands have died, and I've cried when some of these wonderful women have left this mortal realm to join them.

My life is deeply enriched by knowing these lovely ladies, and I'm blessed to have known them.

A story told to me tonight by one of my closest lady friends, a woman in her mid-80's: When she was a young bride, she was hosting Thanksgiving dinner at her house. The day before Thanksgiving, her mother dropped by, and found her vigorously washing the windows. Mother asked why she was killing herself washing windows in addition to all the cooking. My friend replied, "Because Laura [so-n-so] is coming for Thanksgiving dinner and I know she's going to look to see how dirty my windows are." My friend's mother replied, "Honey, if Laura comes looking for dirt...let her find some!"

Wordless Wednesday: Inflatable Church

The Inflatable Church

Tuesday, September 2, 2008



If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.

I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter....

either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!!!
[Sent to me via email]