Ahhh....Compromise

The dictionary's definition....

Compromise: A settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.

My definition...

Compromise: The glue that holds a marriage together...or at least stops you from doing 25 to life.

Thus, the latest chapter in the ongoing saga of me trying to get The Hubs to shake loose of his old musty pre-marriage crap valuables.
He has tossed SOME into the dumpster (a minimal amount in my opinion).

What we have ended up with is him erecting a wooden garden-shed type thing in the driveway and he is very methodically packing all his $h!t into that.

I'm not particularly thrilled about it, in fact I fumed for a good 48 hours. Now I'm choosing to look at it this way:

1. At least it's out of the house;
   
   
2. It's more likely to be damaged sitting out there, hopefully to the extent that even he agrees it must GO;
   
   
3. When if he finally concedes to let me throw it all away, it's that much closer to the curb. Not that we have curbs in this very tiny farm town. But you get the drift.

Our carpenter is here and in day two of the demolition stage, knocking out all the old horsehair plaster. What a mess! And it's been in the 90's for three days. The gentleman is a close friend and I so appreciate his help! Thank God for good friends!

I AM married to Howard Hughes!!!

Howard Hughes in the creepy "save everything" years, that is.

I arrived home at 2pm after working at a church event since 8am. The Hubs was supposed to be working on clearing out his junk room office.

This is what I found...

Do you see what I see? Let me make it easier...

Now, I've heard of Dumpster Diving....but Dumpster SORTING????

That's right...while I was gone, instead of working on throwing stuff away and clearing out the room so we can have the room ready for his dialysis (we have a carpenter coming Monday morning!), The Hubs chose to sort through the dumpster, pulling out junk junk JUNK VALUABLE STUFF.

I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Hubs update

Hubs is at home, resting as comfortably as possible. He had some trouble coming out of the anethesia, which is always scary.

He now has about 8" of rubber tubing coming out of his abdomen; this is what the dialysis needle will be hooked up to. He will start dialysis in 3-4 weeks. He will be attempting Peritoneal Dialysis which is done at home; which scares the crud out of me. I am so worried he will have a problem with sterilization and possible infection.

I'm staying home with him for a few days. He keeps insisting he will be back to work before the week is out. I'm afraid of him pushing himself too much. *sigh*

Asking for your prayers

This morning I am taking The Hubs to the hospital for surgery. This is the first step towards his starting dialysis.

Please send prayers and good thoughts our way today.

I was tagged! The meme of US...

Thanks to Melisa of Suburban Scrawl I have been tagged ... for information about "The Story of Us"....wait, wasn't that a movie? With beautiful people? I can't remember for sure ... now I have to go research this...

Sorry about that. I'm very easily distracted.

Ok on with the good stuff...


How long have you been together?

We met on Valentine's day 1992...officially together by Memorial Day 1992. Oh my gosh almost 16 years.
How long did you date?

Well we lived on opposite sides of the country, so we did the long distance thing for quite a while...huge phone bills and lots of plane tickets. A year and a half.
How old is he?

He is 56, I am 49. Our birthdays are in September so both our odometers wll turn over then.

Who said "I love you" first?

Me, of course. He's an engineer with an engineer's mind. Romance is difficult for him.

Who is taller?

He is...he's 6'1" and I'm 5'8". You better not ask who's wider...

Who is smarter?

Oooh. He is very smart, especially in mathematics, quantum physics, yada yada, but I'm a Wise Guy, ha! I would say we balance each other out...with the scale leaning a little heavier on his side.

Who does the laundry?

Mostly me. I actually love laundry, the smell of fabric softener, folding warm towels. What I DON'T love is having my washer & dryer in the cellar of this old house. Which is why I am in the process of hiring someone to come build a laundry center UPSTAIRS.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?

Definitely me.

Who pays the bills?

He earns it (most of it) and I pay the bills. Although I have set so much up automatically now, I should say the computer pays the bills.

Who mows the lawn?

He does.

Who cooks dinner?

We don't really DO dinner in our house. Hubs is a work-aholic and is never home for dinner. I cook a "dinner" in the morning and pack it for his lunch. If that makes sense.

Who is more stubborn?

Him for sure. It took me a couple of years after getting together but I definitely learned to be more flexible than I ever was before, in order to get along. Plus, I ignore him a lot. Problem solved.

Who kissed who first?

He kissed me first.

Who asked who out?

After a lot of shameless flirting on my part he finally got the idea to pursue me. I believe he thinks it was his idea. Hah!

Who proposed?

He did.

Who is more sensitive?

Hmm. I am more EMOTIONAL...and probably more sensitive too. Although he surprises me with his sensitivity sometimes.

Now I get to tag some folks! I am going to tag Cathy at Noble Pig, Queen Mommy at From Talbots to Target, Deep Fried Apple Pies, and Simply Nutmeg.

Let's hear it, girls!

Kick 'er in the ass!

My previous post about using the Dog Whisperer technique on my husband as he tries to TELL ME HOW TO DRIVE (grrrr) got me reminiscing.

I'm from one of the big square states out west. When I was a teenager back in the 70's, my dad was a merchandiser for a retail chain that had stores in many towns in that big square state. If you have ever visited a big square state in the western U.S., you know that there is more land than people, and there is quite a lot of open space in-between towns. My dad was on the road constantly, visiting these oh-so-far-apart town that his stores were in. He logged a LOT of miles.

He had countless stories of adventures and mishaps on the road. Several times he ran out of gas...and always, it seemed, just at the top of a hill, with a gas station at the bottom. Dad would coast on down the hill and into the gas station. He was a legend in our family.

With dad gone so much, my mom originally tried to teach me how to drive. She went out with me just one time. I had her nerves so jingle-jangled, when we got home she informed my dad that it was now HIS job to teach me.

Enter my dad - Driver Extraordinaire.

The first lesson he taught me was immediate. When I backed out of our driveway into our relatively busy street, me being pokey and slow and insecure in my new driving skills, blocking traffic from both directions....he would yell, "Kick 'er in the ass! Kick 'er in the ass! We gotta get outta the way!"

Ironically, now when I drive with dear husband, I hear "Slow down! It's not a race!"

Men. Seems like you can never make 'em happy.

The Dog Whisperer

In my house, we really enjoy watching the t.v. program "The Dog Whisperer". The man is amazing - he works with dogs that are so aggressive that they may need to be put down if they don't immediately change.

He has several techniques he uses to subdue the dog. My favorite is when he takes two fingers and gently 'nips' the side of the dog's neck, while at the same time making this little "chhttt" sound. It teaches the dog to be submissive to him, and lets the dog know that HE is the pack leader.

I've been thinking, wouldn't it be great would it be if this worked on people too?

Teenage daughter calling you OLD, and in a big booming voice lets anyone within earshot know that her mom is almost 50?

CHHHT.

Mother-in-law won't shut up about how perfect your husband was as a child, so obviously your kid's out of control behavior is from your side of the family?

CHHHT.

Driving, with your husband as a passenger, and he continually gives you instructions about HOW to drive even though you've been driving for 35 years? ("Why don't you pass this guy?"..... "You're using the brakes too much, you're gonna wear 'em out"..... and my all-time favorite, "It's not a race, SLOW DOWN!")

CHHHT CHHHT CHHHT.

I'm picturing each of them afterwards...shocked and speechless. I think it just might work.

My husband’s True Love

Why does it seem that every blog I read, the husbands all sound perfect and loving and supportive and…and….PERFECT? Am I the only one out here with a challenge for a husband?

We live in an old house on 8+ acres. My husband is a very smart man, an engineer who designs computer chips for a living. Yet, he always yearned to take a walk on the wild side. I only wanted him to be happy. That’s when I made my mistake. I weakened.

I can pinpoint exactly when things changed in our relationship. It was when SHE came into our lives. Oh sure, he’d talked about her, or friends of hers, for ages. I knew where his interests lie. Sure, she’s cute. She’s up for any challenge. She’s a little temperamental, which only means he gives her even MORE attention. Still, I didn’t think it was going to upset our family dynamic as much as it did.

Here's a picture of the two of them together...

This is the "other woman" in my husband's life.

At one time my husband's hobby was renovating this old house of ours. Those of you married to engineers will understand this immediately - being an engineer, he knew no one would be able to do the work as perfectly as he could. No professional contractor for us, no way!

Of course he didn't take into consideration that he is a workaholic who gets a nervous tic if he is away from the office for too long. So, yes, he COULD do all this work, but does he have TIME to do it? (that's a big NO, good buddy).

But I digress.

Ever since The Other Woman came into our lives, progress on the house renovation came to a complete stand still. Putting up sheet rock is boring when you could be outside moving dirt and REAL ROCKS around! (The point of moving all those rocks around escapes me - other than the chance to drive the tractor, I mean.)

So it's been a love/hate relationship between me and The Other Woman. I just know that if they made an indoor tractor, my house would be DONE, baby, DONE!

But now that we're a few years older, I've let my feelings soften towards her.

Yesterday's snowfall was a wet and heavy 8 inches of white torture. Being the good sport of a wife that I am, I cleared the snow off the unruly items (deck, steps, vehicles) but then I had to raise my white flag. That was it for me - I was too pooped to pop.

That's when SHE stepped in. The two of them cleared the driveway in no time. ["Huzzah!", the villagers cheered!]

Final wifely decision: Dirt and rock moving - silly. Snow moving - FABULOUS.