Saturday, March 8, 2008

Who, me?? But I’m Fatty McButterpants!

I had the most amazing thing happen. And I’m going to take a lot of time to tell you about it.

Today I had to make a run to Wal-Mart. I hate going to Wal-Mart, as I am a Target disciple and worship in the land of the red bulls-eye.

I really hate going to Wal-Mart on a Saturday, when the lines stretch to the back of the store and the parking lot is crazy-busy.

I really really hate going to Wal-Mart on a Saturday when it is pouring rain. Like today.

And I really really really hate going to Wal-Mart on a rainy Saturday when I have been too lazy in the morning and now it’s noon and the whole freakin’ world is going to be at Wal-Mart shopping.


But off to Wal-Mart I went. I managed to get the one thing I went there for, and of course while waiting in the ginormous line fell victim to my impulsive side and had to toss a couple more things in the cart. Finally get checked out and then have the misfortune of not remembering where I parked. (Hello - menopausal memory problems!!)

So I'm wandering around Wal-Mart’s parking lot (is anybody counting how many times I have said Wal-Mart in this post???) and the rain is coming down and I am not wearing a coat (menopausal hot flashes, remember?). I finally spot my People Mover (mini-van) and as I approach it I notice the car parked next to me is identical to the one I had before purchasing said People Mover. I am eye-balling this car and barely notice that a guy is walking past me on my other side.

As we pass each other, this guy says, “You’re beautiful”. Now, I’m still focusing on the car parked next to me, and I’m thinking, “Boy he must really have a thing for 13 year old Ford Taurus wagons”. I keep pushing my cart. Now the guy is past me and walking backwards and he calls back, “No I mean YOU”. Being married 15 years, with the big 5-0 looming on the horizon, I have not had this experience in many, many years, so I am still not completely registering. Then he calls out, “Are you single?” THAT’S when it sunk in. Holy crap! This guy is hitting on me. And he’s hot!!! If any of you are watching Big Brother 9, he looks like Matt only maybe 10 years older. If you do NOT watch BB9- I’ll just say, dark hair, blindingly white teeth, and good muscles.

I’m going to be honest with you. On top of being an old married woman nearing the half-century mark, I am a Fatty McButterpants. Plus size. Or as we phat chix like to call ourselves, a Big Beautiful Woman.

I smiled at this adorable man with the incredibly bad eye sight, told him I was not, alas, single; and got into my People-Mover. I then sat there and said a thank-you prayer for making my trip to Wal-Mart so darned WORTH IT.


Sister Honey Bunch said...

Rock on with your self! That would just make my day!

Stacie.Make.Do. said...

Woohooo! (Was it the wet t-shirt? Heehee. Just kidding.) I had my own "thanks for the compliment" moment a few weeks ago at a store. Aren't those surprise feel-good moments great?

Gina said...

That's a great compliment. According to your picture, you are pretty and have a beautiful complexion (sp?) I know I spelled that wrong but don't know how to spell it. Ha Must be a memory thing.

Anonymous said...

You go girl!

Bevson said...

OMG, how I laughed at your post. I have not had a MOMENT like that in a long time. I need to go to Walmart right away.

Rose said...

You go girl. See my daughter is hanging out at the wrong place. She should be at Walmart.