Life in a small New England town, Chapter 1

Things I love about living in a small town in New England:

You know almost everybody in town, including their kids and pets.

You know who has had surgery or is laid up, and a casserole brigade is started.

The police call log has listings like “Horses wandering in road” and “Sheep loose”…and the worst vandalism in many years is “Shampoo dropped in library book return”.

The high school doesn’t even have locks on the student lockers, and there is no theft.

Having one (ONE!) homeless person, his name is Charley, and he does not want your help, thank you. (He has assistance already lined up but chooses to live a hobo’s life)


Things I do NOT love about living in a small town in New England:

Everybody in town knows every member of your family, including eccentric Uncle Jack who left town to join the circus.

In the first month of moving to town, buying a cookie jar at a multi-family yard sale, you don’t know any of the families... and three days later being approached by someone not even AT the yard sale, asking if you would like the original box for that cookie jar, because they still have it in their attic. (I don’t know – is this a good thing or a bad thing? I guess it depends on how badly you want the box. At the time, being new to town, it made me feel a little like I was being stalked...)

You can never flip anybody off in traffic (traffic - hah!) because SOMEBODY knows who you are (especially if you are a secretary at one of the only two churches in town)

Being pulled over for speeding by one of the three patrol cars…and getting a stern warning from the Officer…who is also the middle-aged son of your knitting instructor (embarrassing!) (are you sensing a trend here?)

Saturday in-town errands must be completed by NOON because everything closes at noon – this means a trip to the general store, the lumberyard/hardware store, the transfer station (dump), the library-the-size-of-my-bedroom, and the post office. (By the way, our new post office has TWO windows at the counter! TWO! ! Count 'em!)

Even though each of these stops is within a mile and a half of each other, each stop takes a half an hour minimum because you keep seeing people you know and have to stop to chat. (This could go either way, depending on how much of a hurry you are in.)

Thanks to Verizon, when I call my next door neighbor I must dial 10 digits. (used to only have to dial four...."Hello Sara? It's Aunt Bea! Get me Andy down at the sheriff's office!")

And the biggest thing I don't like...snow, snow, SNOW! WAY too much winter!!!!

(OH, and being forced to use lots of italics and parenthesis when typing. It's in the town by-laws.)