Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Would YOU have told him?

Every year, on the morning we leave our little vacation cottage, we take a family picture on the front steps. Sometimes they are self-portraits using the timer; sometimes they are taken by guests who've stayed with us. I had intended to post this year's photo here on my blog, but now I feel I can't. Let me explain...

The last night we were on vacation, The Hubs came in from a day of sailing. He took a shower and changed clothes. I wasn't really paying attention as I was in the kitchen getting dinner started.

I was standing at the kitchen sink and glanced out the window when I heard the front door close. I saw The Hubs walking away from the cottage. I asked Darling Daughter where he was off to - she replied that he was going down to the mooring to do something with the boat.

Then I did a double-take. He was wearing a pumpkin-colored t-shirt that I had never seen him wear before. The Hubs is a conservative Yankee and bright colors are NOT his thing.

It also struck me that the t-shirt was noticeably too large for him. He has lost about 30 pounds due to his kidney disease, so I'm used to clothes not fitting him the way they used to. But this just looked...odd.

"I've never seen your dad wear ORANGE before," I said to Darling Daughter.

"He said the shirt had been in his drawer for three years and he had never worn it, and he decided to bring it on vacation and wear it," she replied.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. The color...the odd shape...the stitching on the sleeves...the scoop neck. He was wearing one of MY t-shirts, that I'd bought at Lane Bryant a few years back, to wear to work on Halloween! That was part of why it looked so odd on him - it was a woman's cut. His back was to me so I couldn't see if the boob area was stretched out.

The Hubs is a quiet, shy guy. I'm sure he would've been embarrassed if I told him he was walking around the neighborhood in a woman's t-shirt. And at this point he was too far away to call back.

Eventually he wandered back, and we had dinner. I sat across from him the entire meal, thinking about that t-shirt (that he was still wearing). I decided not to say anything, as all that remained of the day was some packing, a little reading, and then bed.

The next morning was relaxed as we had packed the night before. We loaded up the vehicles and were ready to go. All that was left was our customary "last day photo."

And I'll be danged if The Hubs didn't step out for the photo wearing that darn ladies t-shirt again!

At that point I figured I was screwed. If I said something now it might raise the question of why I hadn't told him the night before.

So a neighbor took our vacation-end photo, with a rather scowling 13 year old ("Mom, I HATE smiling for pictures!") and The Hubs wearing a Lane Bryant pumpkin colored t-shirt with a scoop neck and decorative stitching on the sleeve.

Just for the record, I'm pulling that shirt out of the laundry and throwing it away. Getting rid of the evidence, you might say.


RiverPoet said...

OMG! That is hilarious!!! How could he not know that it wasn't a "normal t-shirt!!!???


Boy will you have a story to spring on him a few years down the road!

Peace - D

Tee said...

Oh I would have told him, however, not until AFTER the annual photo had been taken. You would need that photo for future reference--something to make you laugh. ROFL!!! My sweet Hubs ended up with a pair of my jeans in his closet and he was wearing them. I forget how we discovered it, but we BOTH cracked up over that one. BTW, he can wear 12P jeans and THEY FIT. That's when I discovered I could wear some of his jeans.

noble pig said...

OMG that is hilarious...ummm...where's the picture? Ha! Poor guy.

MoziEsmé said...

Aww! Does he ever read your blog?

Melisa said...


I'd get rid of the evidence, too. :)

Sue said...

Hi Kathy, That is funny. I would burn the evidence, but keep the picture as blackmail or a good laugh down the road.
I am sorry that we never got together, especially if you were bored your last couple of days! We have been very busy playing tourist with our french student. I have driven up and down the midcape more times this summer than ever.
We are going to NH next week and I am already hyperventilating over not having a computer for 4 days!
If you ever feel the urge to come over the bridge for a day, let me know!

cara said...

THAT IS HILARIOUS!!! My hubs has put on something of mine, and then asked me.. "did you shrink this?" So, of course I got quiet a chuckle out of your story! Glad to hear that you had such a great vacation!!!

Anna See said...

This is hilarious! I would love to see that picture!