It ain't easy bein' green

Another chapter in Menopausal Memory Problems.

I've purchased, from several different stores, the reusable grocery bags that you see everywhere these days. I actually have quite a collection of them. They're a nice, sturdy bag. And they're going to last me forever because I ALWAYS FORGET THEM.

I had such good intentions when I bought each and every one of them. Well, a couple of them (the Trader Joe's bags) I bought just because they were unusual. But my intent was strong about using them all.

I think I've used them once. Then the groceries got carried into the house, and the bags were set aside, and there they sat for ages. Eventually I discovered them and carried them back out to the van. I then drove them around for months. They should have little travel stickers on their sides from all the places they've been. (Although they never made it out of the van.)

What gets me is I can have them sitting right next to me as I drive to the store. They will be right next to my purse. And I will grab my purse, lock my door and head off into the store. I don't actually SEE them until I get back in the van after I'm done shopping. It's like some kind of selective vision thing.

At least they'll never wear out.

Rainy Days and Mondays

Today was both.

My energy level is directly tied to weather. On a sunny day I'm out of bed, rarin' to go, and I get so much accomplished! But a dark, rainy day and I'm a slug. No amount of caffeine will jump start me.

I lived my first 25 years in the state of Oregon. Rain Central. Rain is such a part of life in Oregon that the two major universities have water creatures as mascots...

I don't remember feeling lethargic on rainy days growing up. Of course I had youth on my side. But still. When you live with rain as a part of daily life, it becomes a non-issue.

Maybe it's a symptom of middle age. Maybe it's part of menopause. I don't really know - but a day like today and I feel like I'm slogging through Jello.

What's discouraging is that rain is predicted all week! I don't stand a chance.

In keeping with the theme of this post, I offer you this - sing along if you wish!

Now where did I put that?

My memory's not so good these days.


Also, my memory's not so good.


My memory (or lack thereof) is a real problem. I've read that memory problems go hand in hand with going through menopause. That only makes me feel slightly better. And my husband, who understands NOTHING female, doesn't buy that as a reason.

I hear it's called "Destinesia" - the act of arriving in a room and then forgetting why you went there in the first place. The Today Show has coined a new term: "Momnesia". That seems as good as any.

I'm so easily distracted it's embarrassing. My daughter, clever girl that she is, figured it out long ago. She'll ask me for permission to do something, I say no...so she comes over and starts massaging my shoulders. In a minute I'm so relaxed I can't remember why I said no to her. (I am aware that this is manipulation on her part but it feels so darned good.)

At work, I have the office equivalent of this:





Under all these post-its is a Jaguar. At my office the only thing you'll find under the post-its is an old desk and old computer. But they're covered in post-its, believe me. I should own stock in 3M.

Every time I see a news story about some woman in her 50's giving birth my thought is, how can they do that? You just KNOW they're going to put that baby down someplace and forget where they put it. It's trouble waiting to happen.

I knew I was in serious memory trouble when I agreed to attend two different meetings on the same night. At the same time. And then forgot to go to either one of them.

I've wondered if perhaps if asking someone to give me a thump upside the head like in the V8 commercials might help. I suspect I'd forget that I asked for it, and just turn around and thump 'em back.

It's a groaner but it made me laugh!

A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist.

“Come now,” coaxed the doctor, “you've been seeing me for years! There's nothing you can't tell me.”

“This one's kind of strange…”

“Let me be the judge of that,” the doctor replied.

“Well,” she said, “yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet and when I looked down, the water was full of pennies.”

“I see.”

“That afternoon I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl.”

“I see.”

“That night,” she went on, “I went again, and, plink-plink-plink, there were dimes... and this morning there were quarters! You've got to tell me what's wrong with me! I'm scared out of my wits!”

The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“There, there, it's nothing to be scared about.”


(Ready for this?)



(I'm warning you.....)



(It's not too late....you can still bail out!)

“You're simply going through the change!”