It ain't easy bein' green

Another chapter in Menopausal Memory Problems.

I've purchased, from several different stores, the reusable grocery bags that you see everywhere these days. I actually have quite a collection of them. They're a nice, sturdy bag. And they're going to last me forever because I ALWAYS FORGET THEM.

I had such good intentions when I bought each and every one of them. Well, a couple of them (the Trader Joe's bags) I bought just because they were unusual. But my intent was strong about using them all.

I think I've used them once. Then the groceries got carried into the house, and the bags were set aside, and there they sat for ages. Eventually I discovered them and carried them back out to the van. I then drove them around for months. They should have little travel stickers on their sides from all the places they've been. (Although they never made it out of the van.)

What gets me is I can have them sitting right next to me as I drive to the store. They will be right next to my purse. And I will grab my purse, lock my door and head off into the store. I don't actually SEE them until I get back in the van after I'm done shopping. It's like some kind of selective vision thing.

At least they'll never wear out.

Now where did I put that?

My memory's not so good these days.


Also, my memory's not so good.


My memory (or lack thereof) is a real problem. I've read that memory problems go hand in hand with going through menopause. That only makes me feel slightly better. And my husband, who understands NOTHING female, doesn't buy that as a reason.

I hear it's called "Destinesia" - the act of arriving in a room and then forgetting why you went there in the first place. The Today Show has coined a new term: "Momnesia". That seems as good as any.

I'm so easily distracted it's embarrassing. My daughter, clever girl that she is, figured it out long ago. She'll ask me for permission to do something, I say no...so she comes over and starts massaging my shoulders. In a minute I'm so relaxed I can't remember why I said no to her. (I am aware that this is manipulation on her part but it feels so darned good.)

At work, I have the office equivalent of this:





Under all these post-its is a Jaguar. At my office the only thing you'll find under the post-its is an old desk and old computer. But they're covered in post-its, believe me. I should own stock in 3M.

Every time I see a news story about some woman in her 50's giving birth my thought is, how can they do that? You just KNOW they're going to put that baby down someplace and forget where they put it. It's trouble waiting to happen.

I knew I was in serious memory trouble when I agreed to attend two different meetings on the same night. At the same time. And then forgot to go to either one of them.

I've wondered if perhaps if asking someone to give me a thump upside the head like in the V8 commercials might help. I suspect I'd forget that I asked for it, and just turn around and thump 'em back.