Kathy Likes Pink

The Mean Kitty Song

2009-03-05T07:31:00.001-05:00

This is quite amusing! Check it out!

Hummer? Hmmm.....

2008-11-30T21:06:00.002-05:00

This has been my opinion for years...but when I saw it on a bumper sticker today, I knew it wasn't just me!

Send a postcard to the troops

2008-11-21T22:04:00.001-05:00

Feliz Navidad

2008-11-10T08:15:00.004-05:00

I was driving home this morning, after I dropped Darling Daughter off at school. About halfway home, I turned on the radio - just in time to hear José Feliciano singing "Feliz Navidad."

There's a phrase used to describe a song that won't leave your head all day. I can't remember what it is...earworm? Earwig? In any case, it's an hour after the fact and that song is still in my head.

I think it's going to be a L-O-N-G day.

Long time, no see

2008-10-04T07:02:00.003-04:00

I started this post by trying to write the often misquoted line attributed to Mark Twain about rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated...but I wanted to quote it correctly. So I did a google search, which led me to some really great websites about Mark Twain.

Then I followed a link about Abe Vigoda using that quote himself; Abe is alive and kicking at age the age of 87, even though it was reported in People magazine in the 1970's that he had died.

Then I followed a link from the Abe Vigoda site to an interesting story about the struggle to get "The Godfather" film made.

~~Alice~~ KathyLikesPink has just emerged from the rabbit hole that is the internet.

I thank those of you who have inquired about my absence from the blogging world. The truth is, my life has been rather overwhelming of late, and along the way I seemed to have lost my sense of humor. And who wants to read a blog that consists of nothing but bitchin' and moanin'?

(Well, okay, sometimes I do - I get a kick out of the Angry Pharmacist and snotty Grocery Clerk and WaiterRant. But mostly, I'd rather not.)

I've got several more months of potential bitchin' and moanin' ahead of me. The reality is, I filed for divorce mid-September. But I'm starting to feel more upbeat again. I'm emerging from this particular black cloud and I'm starting to laugh again, which is marvelous. I hope to shortly begin blogging on a regular basis.

Before I sign off, I'd like to tell of something that still makes me giggle to think of.

Last night we had a spaghetti supper at my church. There were five guys and three women cooking. I would come to the kitchen door and yell, "Two salads!" or "Three spaghettis, two with meatballs!".

One trip to the kitchen door I yelled "Three, with balls!"

I can still see five guy's heads turn to stare at me.

Dang, I crack myself up.

Today's Hair

2008-09-15T23:40:00.001-04:00

You guys probably thought I was exagerating!! Nope! Finally made it into the ladies room just before I left work at 4:30 - look at the hair I'd been parading around with all day!!!

A little fireman humor?

2008-09-15T08:48:00.011-04:00

In a previous post, I told you about the old New England church in which I work, and I showed you a few pictures of outside, the views from the church. I didn't show you ONE view - primarily because they were still building it - the new fire station. Standing directly in front of my door, with my back to the church ....

and looking to the right, this is what you see...

Now - this MAY just be a coincidence.... But two days in a row, as I juggled my purse and portfolio and the mail from the mailbox and my ginormous cup of iced coffee, plus trying to get the key in the lock of the big ol' heavy door at the same time as I am pulling on said door with my little finger (it's a real trick to get this door open, I tell ya) ... two days in a row, the firemen have had a truck out on the driveway, and blown the siren at exactly the time I'm at my weakest moment.

Fireman humor? Or coincidence?

Both days, I about jumped out of my hair (my feet definitely left the ground), and I spilled my coffee. There's beginning to be a regular puddle in front of the door.

I've been working here four months and never had this problem. Now, two days in a row. I'm not sure if it was some weird 'testing out the sirens' thing or if they are yankin' my chain. Any thoughts?

Vanity, thy name is NOT KathyLikesPink

2008-09-13T04:27:00.000-04:00

One offshoot of all this construction going on at home is that all the mirrors are down. Down and gone. We didn't have a lot of mirrors to begin with, and now those that we did have are gone. Where? I'm not sure. Will they show up again? I don't know that either. Perhaps they ended up in the dumpster. I just don't know.

The only mirror I can find is a small one with a magnet, meant to go in Darling Daughter's locker but attached to the side of the 'fridge.

I have to leave the house and go out in public each day. I'm not a vain woman, but I do wish to avoid looking foolish if at all possible. Apparently it's not possible.

When looking in this tiny mirror, I see an eye, an eyebrow, a small (very small) patch of hair. I shift my head right, then left, then take the plunge and hit it with hairspray.

I arrive at work and get right to it. At Job # 1, I am "balls to the walls" busy, if you will pardon the expression. It's generally a couple of hours before I head to the ladies room. And then ... yikes!

I look in the mirror - a big, normal mirror - and realize I'm sporting an Alfalfa 'do:

Or a Rod Stewart younger-days just-got-out-of-bed tousle...

Or a Groucho part and wave...

Or worse yet - the MOE....

Thankfully, I work in a church. They're very forgiving about many things. Goofy hair doesn't faze them in the least.

Or maybe they just think of me a comedy relief.

Back in the Zone..the Construction Zone, that is

2008-09-11T07:59:00.004-04:00

After a month of vacation, the renovations of our house have swung back into action. This is the second week of coming home to surprises.

Last week was mostly more wall demolition, and setting the new light switches and fixtures.

Monday came home to find the tub and shower out. Surprise!

We have a very narrow, short, tiny (you get the idea it's small, right?) shower in our cellar that The Hubs installed years ago. The idea was that when he came in from doing yard work and other manly stuff he could wash up downstairs without tracking crap through my kitchen. Unfortunately with his health problems, the yard work stopped shortly after the shower was installed so it's mostly not been used.

I don't want you to get the idea that this is a finished basement, or anything cozy. This is a nearly 100 year old house with a cellar to match. Spiders, anyone? Anyone? It's also pretty chilly down there.

Darling Daughter says it's just like when she spent a week at Girl Scout Camp.

Each morning we gather our little collection of personal items and traipse downstairs to shower. The first morning was a bit of a shock but it's amazing how quickly you adjust. First thing I do is check the stall for spiders.

It's amazing how big the bathroom is without the encumbrance of tub and cabinets. Our house is so small, it's hard to look at the now-empty space and not think, "Man, we could put a computer desk in here and use it as an office!"

Wish we could! But I'm not willing to rebuild the outhouse out back, so a bathroom it will be.

One last thing before I head off to work at Job # 1.

Came home Tuesday to be told "I took the toilet out today to do some work. I put it back but it's not bolted down, so don't wiggle".

Don't wiggle.

Words to live by.

I'm so tired

2008-09-10T05:09:00.001-04:00

To quote Lily Von Schtupp from "Blazing Saddles"....I'm tired!

Here's how I feel - only replace the sexual innuendos with "church secretary"....

A BAD DAY IN WHO-VILLE...

2008-09-08T00:01:00.001-04:00

I'm pooped

2008-09-07T11:21:00.001-04:00

This has been one long week. I work at two churches, and both were gearing up for the first day of the new church year (today). I worked at Job # 1 (the BIG church) from 8:30am to 8pm. I wanted to get it all done before leaving because I didn't want to have to go in on Saturday. And everything HAD to be done by Sunday!

The new church year means that all the vacationing and wandering families are back, Sunday School begins, the choirs are back in full voice and full complement. This Sunday is a big day!

Here's an example of the difference between the two churches I work for...

During the summer months, Job # 2 (here in Tiny Town) had, on their most crowded summer Sunday, 35 people in church. Job # 1, same criteria, had 161.

In planning for today's crowd, Job # 2, we made 75 bulletins for the expected crowd. Job # 1 ... I made 400.

Since Sunday School started, and I teach Sunday School, I spent Saturday cleaning and organizing my classroom. Whoever used it during Vacation Bible School left it in a huge mess.

This year I will teach the 3rd and 4th graders. I'm looking forward to it. The past few years I've had the older kids. I look forward to the age where kids still actually LISTEN to a grown-up. Oh, you may think they don't - but believe me, they listen a lot better than the 5th and 6th graders!!!

And now, after a very busy week and weekend, I think I feel the pull of a nap. I need to rest up so I can watch Big Brother tonight!

2008-09-06T05:24:00.002-04:00

Another week of crime in the ~~big city~~ tiny town:

Tiny Town Police Log

Wednesday, Aug. 20
12:11 p.m.: [xxx] Street, purse was found.
1:47 p.m.: [xxx] Street, man requested assistance while he got his boat out.
5:40 p.m.: [xxx] Road, caller reported heavy black smoke coming from a chimney.

Thursday, Aug. 21
3:11 a.m.: [xxx] Road, tree down in road.
8:40 a.m.: [xxx] Road, third person stopped a dog, was not sure if it was sick; the dog was chasing people and biting them.
10:15 a.m.: [xxx] Street, man said a fuse blew on the telephone pole.
8:21 p.m.: [xxx] Road, ambulance needed for a male with chest pressure and headache.
3:19 p.m.: [xxx] Road, woman reported a dog had been hit and went under the railing.
6:32 p.m.: [xxx] Street, ambulance needed for a female with stomach pain.

Friday, Aug. 22
12:44 p.m.: [xxx] Street, woman reported a motor vehicle that was driving all over the road.
Saturday, Aug. 23 12:31 a.m.: [xxx] Street, officer with a tractor trailer parked on the lawn by the Route [xxx] off ramp.
8:19 p.m.: [xxx] Road, caller reported fireworks being set off.
10:53 p.m.: [xxx] Street, caller reported a baby bull loose.

Monday, Aug. 25
4:56 p.m.: [xxx] Road, caller said her child was locked in a vehicle.
5:11 p.m.: [xxx] Street, [next town over] Police Department reported an erratic driver heading into Tiny Town.
7:16 p.m.: [xxx] Street, caller reported a Sirrius Radio was stolen from his vehicle. (this happened to the husband of a friend of mine. They have teenage sons, and they live in the country - I think someone who KNEW he had this radio specifically came to his house to steal it)

Tuesday, Aug. 26
4:17 a.m.: [xxx] Street, report of a loud party.
10:08 a.m.: [xxx] Street, Bolton Police Department reported a bicyclist was run off the road.
7:57 p.m.: [xxx] Road, two calls for a black Toyota vehicle with two men yelling and jumping around, then got in vehicles and took off at a high rate of speed.

In the company of women

2008-09-03T22:48:00.000-04:00

Tonight was the first Women's Evening Guild meeting of the new church year. This is a woman's group, connected to our church but open to all woman of the community. The Evening Guild began in 1948. Men were back from the war and a woman's job was no longer in the factories or building airplanes, but "in the home". After a few years of this staying-home-all-day-with-the-kids stuff, the women in town decided they needed a night out sans husband and children, and so began the Women's Evening Guild. It meets one evening a month, September through June. Tonight was our 60th anniversary.

Guild evenings begin with what is usually called a potluck supper, but since 1948 the Guild has called it a "covered dish supper". Sounds a little more refined, I guess. After dinner we have our business meeting, and after the meeting there is a program of one sort or another.

I have been involved with this group since 1995. I am the youngest member. Have I mentioned that I will be 50 years old in a couple of days? I am the YOUNGEST MEMBER.

This is the hardest working group of women I've ever known. A couple of them are in their 60's; most are in their 70's, and a good handful are in their 80's. Yet they work harder than the younger women in our church. They bake and sew and knit and paint and hammer and glue, and it all creates one heck of a Friendship Village Fair every November.

Whenever our church asks the Guild for money, whether to help pave a driveway, buy a commercial dishwasher for the church kitchen, mend the 150 year old plaster ceiling, the Guild comes through. They've bought the past two computers used in the church office and are about to purchase another one. They bought the folding chairs, the 200 sets of dishes in the cupboard, and paid for the church kitchen to be repainted. Not to mention, they put on one HECK of a funeral collation (reception after a funeral).

Have I mentioned the ages of these ladies? I'm the YOUNGEST MEMBER!!!

I love going to the Guild meetings. I've learned so much from these women. We talk about men and children and what's going on in town. I've learned the history of women whose children are older than I am. I've learned to knit (poorly - I am the only remedial knitting student). I've learned how to pound a nail into old horsehair plaster to hang a picture in such a way that the plaster doesn't crumble. I've been given trusted family recipes. I've grieved with them when husbands have died, and I've cried when some of these wonderful women have left this mortal realm to join them.

My life is deeply enriched by knowing these lovely ladies, and I'm blessed to have known them.

A story told to me tonight by one of my closest lady friends, a woman in her mid-80's: When she was a young bride, she was hosting Thanksgiving dinner at her house. The day before Thanksgiving, her mother dropped by, and found her vigorously washing the windows. Mother asked why she was killing herself washing windows in addition to all the cooking. My friend replied, "Because Laura [so-n-so] is coming for Thanksgiving dinner and I know she's going to look to see how dirty my windows are." My friend's mother replied, "Honey, if Laura comes looking for dirt...let her find some!"

Wordless Wednesday: Inflatable Church

2008-09-03T05:13:00.000-04:00

The Inflatable Church

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR

2008-09-02T00:54:00.000-04:00

IF MY BODY WERE A CAR ...

If my body were a car, this is the time I would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model.

I've got bumps and dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, but that's not the worst of it.

My headlights are out of focus and it's especially hard to see things up close.

My traction is not as graceful as it once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of weather.

My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins.

It takes me hours to reach my maximum speed.

My fuel rate burns inefficiently.

But here's the worst of it --

Almost every time I sneeze, cough or sputter....

either my radiator leaks or my exhaust backfires!!!

[Sent to me via email]

Late afternoon adventure

2008-08-31T23:00:00.004-04:00

I was working around the house today, getting ready for the construction to start up again this week. Darling Daughter was getting a little cabin fever, so mid-afternoon we set out on a drive, no destination in mind. One of us will say, "Let's get lost" and we set out.

Today we ended up in Boston at Logan Airport. We ate at the airport and watched planes take off.

Here are a couple of blurry pictures taken with my ~~crappy~~ high tech cell phone camera.

Some days it doesn't pay to get out of bed

2008-08-31T10:22:00.000-04:00

This morning I was scheduled to usher at church. This means you arrive a half hour early, turn on the elevator, turn on the lights, turn on the sound system, light the candles, and hand out the bulletins as folks arrive. Unfortunately, I stayed up late the night before, as I couldn't put my book down. I got out of bed already running late, and jumped in the shower.

Got out of the shower, frantically drying off and looking for underwear at the same time. Couldn't find any. What the heck? Then I remembered that I had done laundry the evening before and they were still in the dryer, downstairs in the cellar.

Everyone else was still asleep. I went downstairs to retrieve my clean undies from the dryer. (Did I mention I was still nekkid? How's THAT for putting a lovely picture in your head!) I reached in the dryer and discovered that everything was still wet. Apparently when I asked Darling Daughter to go downstairs the night before and put the clothes in the dryer - she didn't.

I turned on the dryer but realized I really didn't have time - I was already late for church, so I reached in and grabbed one pair and headed back upstairs to get dressed.

And that, my friends, is how I came to be sitting in church with wet underwear. It was, shall we say....memorable.

The Naked Bagel (maker)

2008-08-30T10:06:00.003-04:00

Ok, so I didn't actually MAKE the bagel, I merely toasted it.

I was on the phone with my mom until after 1am last night. (It had been a long time since we'd talked and there was a lot to talk about!) I got up much later than usual today (sleep! I had some!) and so took my shower late in the morning.

As I was toweling off after my shower, the phone rang. It was Darling Daughter's BFF. Which meant she would be on the phone in her room for a L-O-N-G time. (I wonder where she gets her 'long phone conversation' gene from?)

Since it was much later in the morning than I usually get up, my tummy was growling. I got this great (yeah right) idea. Darling Daughter's busy on the phone in her room ... I could sneak out and pop a bagel in the toaster and get it back to my room and THEN get dressed. Did I mention I was nekkid?

As so often happens when I put one of my brilliant ideas into play ... it didn't work out so great.

While still chatting on the phone, Darling Daughter came into the kitchen and caught me red handed (and bare assed) in front of the toaster.

"ARGH! MOM! MY EYES! MY EYES!! AHHHH!"

Oh, the humanity!

Of course every detail was shared instantly with her BFF.

Ah ... the memories we create for our children. My nekkid bagel-making will not be soon forgotten.

Good times, good times.

Our Evening's Excitement

2008-08-29T20:20:00.003-04:00

I picked Darling Daughter up at school about 5pm, after her Field Hockey practice. We went out to dinner in a larger town, then headed back to Tiny Town. I take the "back way" everywhere, so the trip involved going through the neighborhoods of several towns.

Imagine our surprise when we saw a hot air balloon floating very low over houses and trees. It was so low at one point we pulled to the side of the road and jumped out to watch - it looked like they were looking for a place to land and that it might be that very back yard! Then they turned on the burner and they went up a bit, coasted around the neighborhood, barely skimming tree tops. We followed in the car, winding around neighborhood streets. At first we were the only ones that seemed to know it was there, but as it got lower and lower, and the noise of the burner caught people's attention, eventually everyone came out of their house to see.

We followed it for some time before I thought to hand my cell phone to Darling Daughter and tell her to take some pictures. The trees are so thick we had to wait until we found a clear shot. Here are two photos taken by Darling Daughter (she wanted me to be sure and let you know that SHE took the pictures!!)

And I'm sure I don't have to point this out...but it was a lovely shade of PINK!!!!

Sleep. I hear it's pretty great...

2008-08-29T04:42:00.009-04:00

I'm tired. I'm always tired. I yawn all day. I sigh with weariness as I tote that barge, lift that bale*. If I'm always so tired - why is it I can't sleep at night? Well, ok, I do sleep SOME. But no more than five hours a night. And it's killin' me!

Today is a good example. Yesterday I worked at both Job # 1 and Job # 2.(I should mention, I'm a desk jockey - these are not strenuous jobs). I left Job # 2 at 7:15 pm and immediately went to an evening meeting, which didn't end until about 9:30 pm. I came home tired; went to be about 11pm. By 3:30 am I was wide awake and have been ever since (It's currently 5:50 am). I can't fall asleep for the life of me. But I guarantee you that when I'm driving to work at Job # 1, I'm going to be yawning and wishing I could take a nap.

I'm sure this ties in to getting older. Everything seems to be connected to getting older. Can you tell turning 50 is bothering me just a little bit?????

Well, here it is, time to wake Darling Daughter and get our day started. And guess what? I just cut loose with a giant yawn.

===========================

* "Ol' Man River", from the musical "SHOWBOAT"

Ol' Man River, Dat Ol' Man River,

He mus' know sumpin', But don't say nuthin',

He jes' keeps rollin', He keeps on rollin' along.

He don' plant taters, He don' plant cotton,

An' dem dat plants 'em Is soon forgotten,

But Ol' Man River, He jes' keeps rollin' along.

You an' me, we sweat an strain, Body all achin' an' racked wid pain -

Tote dat barge!Lift dat bale! Git a little drunk, An' you land in jail...

Ah gits weary An' sick of tryin'; Ah'm tired of livin'An' skeered of dyin',

But Ol' Man River, He jes' keeps rollin' along.

Mama's having a pity-party

2008-08-28T00:50:00.003-04:00

Today, Darling Daughter heads off to school.

She is officially an 8th grader, her last year of Junior High. She's nearly as tall as I am (She's 5' 6-1/2", I'm 5'8") and has transformed into a beautiful young woman.

When did this happen? What happened to my baby girl?

I became a mother late in life. In all honestly I decided years before that I never wanted children. Other people had children and most of them annoyed the heck out of me. Co-workers would have babies, bring them in to the office for a visit, and ask me if I'd like to hold the baby...and I always said no.

What did I know? Or rather, what didn't I know? For one thing, I didn't know that when you have a child of your own, your love for that child is so strong and all-encompassing that it eliminates all those other "annoying-child" distractions.

I had Darling Daughter late in life, and I didn't even know I wanted children. However, because I was older, with more life experience, I knew enough to savor every moment with this little creature who now owned my heart. I knew time was fleeting, and I cherished my time with her.

As she was an only child, The Hubs insisted she go to nursery school. He said she needed to interact with other children. He was right, of course. But my heart wanted her home with me for as long as possible. Nursery school turned to Kindergarten which became Elementary school. I went back to work part-time but I still had my summers free. Darling Daughter and I would go on what we called Our Adventures. The Hubs is a workaholic so I made it a point to show Darling Daughter that there was more to life and the world than Tiny Town.

Time passed, and she grew up, and grew more independent, and then the teen years started and she didn't want to spend time with me at ALL. I remembered feeling the same way about my parents so I understood. But that didn't make it any easier.

Last summer she became a Creature Of The Night. She went to Girl Scout Moonlight Camp, which meant they stayed up till the wee hours and slept most of the day. Coming home after a week of this camp changed her sleep pattern completely. I might see her if I got up to use the restroom in the middle of the night - otherwise, she slept till noon, or later if she could. I tried to break her of it, but couldn't. I felt like I spent the whole summer waiting for her to wake up and come with me someplace - any place! But she didn't snap out of it until school started. There were no more Adventures.

At the beginning of this summer, I began a new job which entailed working during the summer. I hated the thought of Darling Daughter being home alone every day, but after the experience of LAST summer, decided maybe it wasn't such a big deal. The job is part-time and I'd probably be home shortly after she got up. Still, I worried.

But a surprising thing happened. She actually wanted to be with me. (Not that she would admit it, you understand). By mid-July she'd come to work with me occasionally . (That's one of the great things about working for a church-they understand children exist and are part of our lives!) By the first of August she was coming with me every day. She brings her laptop and some books; there's an empty office she spends her time in. She occasionally comes across the hall to give me a hug or touch base about something.

It's been WONDERFUL. We have made a habit of swinging through a drive-up window each morning, I get my iced coffee and she gets a muffin. On the drives to and from work we sing along to CD's (Stevie Nicks and Elvis are our current favorites). We joke and laugh. We run errands together after work. On a couple of Fridays we even had pizza delivered to the office for lunch (there are no restaurants in Tiny Town, so Darling Daughter has rarely experienced "delivery").

Now - today - she goes back to school. It's like a double-whammy. Not only do I have the mother-sadness that goes with sending your child off to school, but I'm really going to miss my "sidekick". We've spent more one-on-one time this summer than we have in a long time. I feel like I just got my kid back and now she's off again.

Dang, motherhood is hard.

Wordless Wednesday: The Class of 2013

2008-08-27T01:45:00.000-04:00

The Class of 2013

Fire Safety Week, 1998

Darling Daughter is 2nd from left

Mama is doin' the HAPPY DANCE!

2008-08-26T07:39:00.001-04:00

I loves me some Mexican food. My first husband (Have I mentioned that there was a The Hubs, version 1? Trust me - we were infants!) was from southen California and his family really got me hooked on homemade Mexican food. We cooked a Mexican meal for dinner a couple of times a week, and tacos once a week. We even fried our own tortillas.

At that time, it was hard to find many of our favorite brands or spices, so when the grandparents of The Hubs vs. 1 came to visit us in Oregon, they brought us care packages of our favorite sauces, and even brought us tortillas as they were hard to find in Oregon. It was a great day in our household when we finally started finding our favorite products on the store shelves in Oregon. (That was the late 70's, early 80's. Now, it's very common place.)

In 1993 I moved to New England to marry The Hubs vs. 2. (yes, there was a divorce in between husbands. And four years of dating a very sexy Navy guy! Pardon me, I need to take a little mind vacation.) .................. (ok...I'm back)

Where was I...yes...1993, moved to New England...and guess what? No Mexican products on store shelves. Not even any Mexican restaurants! Cuban, yes. Puerto Rican, definitely. Brazillian, affirmative. But Mexican? The only Mexican restaurant I could find was in another state! (Fortunately the states are small back here) I would make The Hubs vs. 2 drive me from our home in Massachusetts to this restaurant in New Hampshire. Sometimes we'd get there and it would be closed. Or it wouldn't open for another two hours. Or the owners had gone to Florida for January.

When I went home to Oregon for visits I would buy my favorite taco sauce, carefully wrap it up, and bring it back in my suitcase. Any visitors from out west were required to do the same - bring me my sauce! (This was obviously before every item in suitcases had to be picked up and inspected by Security).

In 1997, when we got the internet at home, I started ordering my favorite sauce online and had it shipped to me. Which was a pain. Until fairly recently, the shipping costs were as much as the product (heavy glass bottles needing special packing). I did this right up through July of this year.

One time I was actually able to find my taco sauce in a grocery store, but it was a fluke. They never carried it again. My daughter looked at my face when I realized it wasn't on the grocery shelf the next time I shopped, and said, "Mom, you look like you're gonna CRY!"

Perhaps you underestand my jubilation when last week, while shopping at a major New England grocery chain I was able to find my favorite taco sauce on the shelf! I feel I must give a big shout-out to SHAW'S Supermarkets for making me one happy mama! Shaw's, you have made a new and loyal customer in me!

And here is my Holy Grail. .. La Victoria Taco Sauce.

And when I finally begin seeing THIS in the local grocery stores...

I will think I've died and gone to heaven.

The Original Seatbelt

2008-08-25T06:26:00.000-04:00

My new car has the annoying feature that if the car is in drive, and you move forward, it BING BING BINGs loudly until you fasten your seatbelt. Since I've worn a seatbelt religiously since it became law when I was living in California (about 1985) I didn't think this would be an issue. But when you're doing quick "in and out" things like repositioning cars in the driveway, that BING BING BING gets real annoying, real fast. Still, annoying as it is, I think it's a good feature, because I definitely put on the belt just to shut the damn thing up.

Darling Daughter and I were running errands today. Of course every time we got back in the car we put on our seatbelts. We even wore them in the car wash. We didn't really NEED to as the car was in neutral, but it was force of habit.

This got me thinking (yup, I'm thinking again) about how friggin' OLD I am (with 50 coming up in a few days, everything makes me think how friggin' old I am) that I can remember when cars didn't even HAVE seatbelts. In fact I remember when my family got our first car that had seatbelts. It was pretty exciting. How modern! (the term high-tech hadn't been invented yet). (Damn, I'm old!) (In another post I'll tell you about when we got our first color television set. Good times!)

Even with seat belts in the new car, they were only lap belts. Which brings me to the title of this post.

Is anyone else old enough to remember when you were a kid and riding in the front seat of the car, and your mom had to suddenly stop, her right arm would whip out and across your chest to stop you from falling off the seat and flying through the windshield? (Good God, that was one long, continous sentence)

My daughter couldn't believe it, as I demonstrated the technique to her. In fact her first instinct was to bat my hand away. ("What the heck are you DOING, Mom??")

Herewith, I would like to extend to all the moms of a certain age, who were in fact the ORIGINAL SEATBELTS, a big THANK YOU! I'm sure lives were saved thanks to your actions!

Now what was I going to post about???

2008-08-24T09:44:00.005-04:00

I have so many great (yes, I said it - GREAT!) ideas for blog posts pop into my head during the course of the day (or week). As I'm driving along (or at work) I'll get an idea. I'll think, "HEY! That would be a great blog post!" And as I'm driving or typing or lugging boxes of newsletters to the bulk-mail postal office, I'll carry the idea a bit further. I'll develop a story line; my mind will wander to key points I want to mention.

Then in the evening when I'm home with the laptop before me, I'm all "What the heck was it I wanted to write about?" Hmm. What was that great idea? And my mind is all ...."We got nuttin,' honey."

THEN my mind is the Death Valley of ideas. It's a dry, hot place, with lots of sand blowing in the wind and the occasional bleached cow skull. It would actually make a pretty cool Pink Floyd album cover.

What is UP with that? Is it menopause? Is it middle age? It is stupidity? I haven't ruled out any of those possibilities

I've read that by this stage of life (a horrible phrase if ever I've heard one) that we've taken in so much information during our life that our brains are overflowing with data, and it takes it upon itself (how RUDE) to eliminate the excess. Sort of like if our brains were a drinking glass that begins to fill with data as soon as we're born and as the glass gets fuller and fuller, the data near the top tends to overflow the glass and run down the drain.

(Wow, what sort of mind-altering drug was in my soy milk this morning?)

Anyway. Now I think of my blog as the blog eqivalent of George and Jerry's television show concept: A show (blog) about nothing.

Unless I can get me one of those helmet computers like the dad in the movie "Honey, I shrunk the kids".

Which is not so much this.....

As it is, this....

Although with my Death Valley brain, I'd probably need this....

This is funny. Srsly.

2008-08-23T00:14:00.004-04:00

At my request, the Sexton at Job # 1 installed motion detectors in the restrooms near my office. It's pretty great - except - he didn't make the "time on" very long. So just about the time a person (Moi) gets settled on the toilet seat, the light goes out.

So there I sit, on the throne, in the dark, waving my arms around like a crazy woman to make the lights come back on.

I laugh when I'm doing it, and it makes me laugh just to think about it.

Quote of the day (I mean, my life!)

2008-08-21T22:16:00.013-04:00

"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"

Michael Corleone

"The Godfather, Part III

"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"

Silvio Dante

The Sopranos

"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"

George Constanza
Seinfeld

"Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"

Me - Kathy Likes Pink

I left my previous job here in Tiny Town as Church Secretary last May. In June I began work as Church Secretary at a much larger and farther-away church. I enjoy the work, and it's fast paced so the days go by quickly. I work 9am to 2pm (although I often stay later than 2pm as there's so much to get done).

For several reasons, my previous church employer has not yet filled the job I left. The new church year is coming up fast (September 7) and things are starting to get a little dicey without a secretary. To make a long story even longer (sorry!) we've worked out an arrangement where I will do the secretarial work in late afternoon after I leave my first job.

My life is a little busy these days. I enjoy the work (all of it!) and so far feel like it's going well - other than answering the phone at job # 2 as "First Congregational Church" when in fact I was at "First Parish Church". Adding to the mental confusion, before moving to New England I worked for a bank out west called First Interstate Bank, and that slips out every now and then when I answer the phone at one of the churches. (Why must all my employers be named FIRST yada yada??????)

My posts have been a little few and far between - hopefully I will soon be back in the swing of things! My dear ~~readers~~ reader, I hope you will stay with me while I work at getting my time (and life!) in balance.

7 Random Things

2008-08-16T01:25:00.001-04:00

I was tagged by Sue over at "As Cape Cod Turns" for the "7 Random Things" meme. It's late and I'm tired so I will just see where my wandering mind takes me...

1. I've always loved old houses. Then I spent 15 years living in an old, unfinished house. Now I realize I love completed houses.

2. Last night I found a nice photo of my home town online (Eugene, Oregon) and now that is now my laptop wallpaper.

3. We had a new dumpster delivered today, for the next round of construction, and I was as happy as a kid on Christmas morning! Don't stand in one place too long, I may toss you in!

4. The thought of leaving my 40's behind depresses me. Which is wierd, because ENTERING my 40's kind of depressed me.

5. I have a sweet tooth, but chocolate isn't really my thing. I'm more of a vanilla ice cream, dulce de leche kind of girl.

6. Even though I am a Church Secretary, I swear like a sailor. Actually, I dated a sailor for four years - I swear WORSE than a sailor. (I'm not proud of it)

7. It's confirmed - I DO have the sense of humor of an adolescent boy. I went to see "Step-Brothers" - alone! - while Darling Daughter and her BFF were at the Batman movie.

Is this grounds for divorce?

2008-08-15T22:01:00.009-04:00

Every night, this is The Hubs routine:

Place stainless steel commuter mug on counter.

CLUNK

Place ice cube in hand.

No not this Ice Cube...

These ice cubes...

Grab spoon from drawer.

Using back side of spoon, hit ice cubes in the other hand.

WHACK

Drop crushed ice into stainless steel cup.

CHING! TING! RATTLE!

Then he sits down to watch television, and chews the crushed ice.

CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP

Every night, he goes through this routine several times before the evening is over.

CLUNK

WHACK

CHING! TING! RATTLE!

CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP

CLUNK

WHACK

CHING! TING! RATTLE!

CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP

By the end of the evening, I'm ready for some ice myself:

Proof I am old, # 1

2008-08-14T18:27:00.003-04:00

The Music Director at work has been vacationing in France for the past month. He called the office today to go over a few things with me.

When I got off the phone, I said, "Malcolm just called from France, and it was as clear as if he was next door!"

How old does that make me? That in my mind, transatlantic calls are fuzzy connections? And for that matter, does anyone even use the term "Transatlantic Call" anymore?

Good grief. Next thing you know, I'll be needing an ear trumpet.

Would YOU have told him?

2008-08-13T06:10:00.005-04:00

Every year, on the morning we leave our little vacation cottage, we take a family picture on the front steps. Sometimes they are self-portraits using the timer; sometimes they are taken by guests who've stayed with us. I had intended to post this year's photo here on my blog, but now I feel I can't. Let me explain...

The last night we were on vacation, The Hubs came in from a day of sailing. He took a shower and changed clothes. I wasn't really paying attention as I was in the kitchen getting dinner started.

I was standing at the kitchen sink and glanced out the window when I heard the front door close. I saw The Hubs walking away from the cottage. I asked Darling Daughter where he was off to - she replied that he was going down to the mooring to do something with the boat.

Then I did a double-take. He was wearing a pumpkin-colored t-shirt that I had never seen him wear before. The Hubs is a conservative Yankee and bright colors are NOT his thing.

It also struck me that the t-shirt was noticeably too large for him. He has lost about 30 pounds due to his kidney disease, so I'm used to clothes not fitting him the way they used to. But this just looked...odd.

"I've never seen your dad wear ORANGE before," I said to Darling Daughter.

"He said the shirt had been in his drawer for three years and he had never worn it, and he decided to bring it on vacation and wear it," she replied.

Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. The color...the odd shape...the stitching on the sleeves...the scoop neck. He was wearing one of MY t-shirts, that I'd bought at Lane Bryant a few years back, to wear to work on Halloween! That was part of why it looked so odd on him - it was a woman's cut. His back was to me so I couldn't see if the boob area was stretched out.

The Hubs is a quiet, shy guy. I'm sure he would've been embarrassed if I told him he was walking around the neighborhood in a woman's t-shirt. And at this point he was too far away to call back.

Eventually he wandered back, and we had dinner. I sat across from him the entire meal, thinking about that t-shirt (that he was still wearing). I decided not to say anything, as all that remained of the day was some packing, a little reading, and then bed.

The next morning was relaxed as we had packed the night before. We loaded up the vehicles and were ready to go. All that was left was our customary "last day photo."

And I'll be danged if The Hubs didn't step out for the photo wearing that darn ladies t-shirt again!

At that point I figured I was screwed. If I said something now it might raise the question of why I hadn't told him the night before.

So a neighbor took our vacation-end photo, with a rather scowling 13 year old ("Mom, I HATE smiling for pictures!") and The Hubs wearing a Lane Bryant pumpkin colored t-shirt with a scoop neck and decorative stitching on the sleeve.

Just for the record, I'm pulling that shirt out of the laundry and throwing it away. Getting rid of the evidence, you might say.

Life is SO not a vacation!

2008-08-12T00:01:00.002-04:00

Today it was back to work for me. It was a bit of a challenge at first, it's a rainy, overcast day, and I am used to sleeping in on vacation - it all contributed to a feeling of being fuzzy headed, but I soon got back into the swing.

Then after work, had the rush of getting Darling Daughter ready and off we went to her Orthodontist appointment. Which was three towns away.

Then an errand to a town even further away.

Capped off by a committee meeting than ran from 7:30pm to 10:30pm.

I can't believe I actually felt bored those last couple days of vacation, and thought about coming home early!

Calgon, take me away!

Last Day of Vacation

2008-08-11T07:45:00.000-04:00

All good things must come to an end, even vacation. Unfortunately there's never an easy end to ours, as The Hubs has to get his ~~toy~~ boat out of the water and load it up on the trailer. It's a two person job, so Darling Daughter and The Hubs are busy for about an hour with the process. (Even tiny sailboats are a LOT of work!)

In the meantime, I get to wander around and take photos.

Here's where The Hubs puts the ~~toy~~ boat in and out ...

Here's the ferry arriving from Martha's Vineyard

While I was taking pictures of the ferry, I noticed this and I had to smile...

Meanwhile, under the nearby tree...

They were very tame and friendly!

The Hubs truck, loaded with the kayaks...

Still have to put the mast down but we're almost ready to go...

And before too long, this was in our rear view mirror as we were crossing the Bourne bridge headed for home...

I Attempt to Explain Parenthood to Darling Daughter

2008-08-10T09:02:00.010-04:00

Darling Daughter is an only child. She's 13, and we are in the midst of that great experiment of allowing more independence. She's straining at the bit to do things on her own, while my mind replays news footage of teenage girls being abducted.

I was a Girl Scout leader for three years, and we constantly emphasized the buddy system. I'm still a firm believer in it. The truth is, I will allow her and her BFF more freedom than I allow Darling Daughter on her own.

We encourage her to invite friends along when we have vacations or excursions; unfortunately this week her BFF was unable to come along. This has meant more than a few mild arguments over what I will allow her to do on her own.

One day while The Hubs was off sailing, Darling Daughter and I went on a drive down Cape. Darling Daughter didn't want to go anywhere, so that was my first challenge. My destination was Cape Cod National Seashore. It was beautiful. Darling Daughter was bored.

In reviewing our pictures of the day, it occurred to me that one photo really summed up what it's like to be a parent, and of course I decided I had to blog it! (Photo will enlarge if you click on it)

Life Without The Internet

2008-08-06T11:57:00.003-04:00

We are in week two of vacation. This is only the 3rd time I've been on the internet since we got here. Twice I was able to connect wirelessly with my laptop from the cottage. Both times it was before a storm - I'm not sure if that made a difference or it was a coincidence. Today I am sitting in the office of the resort using their old and funky desktop that they make available for guests on a very limited basis.

I really can't remember experiencing such a long stretch without internet access, at least not since we first went online at home in 1996 or 1997. I'm definitely going through some withdrawal pains. And that nervous twitch near my eye is very obvious.

I admit that I spend more time on the internet than I should. I've always thought that if we didn't have the internet at home I would no doubt have a fabulously clean house. And I'd probably be a lot thinner.

It's rather remarkable how the internet has become such a part of my life. Here are a few examples of when the nervous tic has shown itself:

I really like the quilt on the bed here at the resort. I read the tag - Laura Ashley - I'll check the Macys website ... twitch

I can't remember the recipe for the marinade, I'll just google it ... twitch

What time does the movie begin at the local theater? Let's just pull up their website ... twitch

What are the hours of the local library? Let's check online ... twitch

Not to mention, I'm WAY behind in all my blog reading! twitch twitch twitch

On the plus side, I've read five books and am well into my 6th.

Maybe if another storm blows in, I'll be able to connect from my own laptop again, and I can post more photos.

Until then -

So long .... farewell ... auf wiederschauen ... goodbye!

Hello from Cape Cod

2008-08-02T21:27:00.018-04:00

I know a photo op when I see one - thank goodness for ZOOM...

We're just beginning our second week here at the Cape. The cold that I started a couple of days before heading down turned out to be more than just a cold. I'm only beginning to feel more like myself, and I still tire easily. This is the first year in 14 years that I've been sick while I've been here. I haven't even spent much time on the beach - very unlike me!

Some of the gorgeous hydrangeas found at the Cape

But when Darling Daughter wanted to go out on her boogie board, the mother instinct kicked in big-time and I had to be there to watch over her until she came back ashore safely...

Some of the shells on the beach...

Internet connection is intermittant. When we get home I'm going to have a lot of blog reading to catch up on!

My Inheritance

2008-07-28T05:18:00.000-04:00

Last week, I was chatting with someone I had never met before while standing in line at the grocery store. I immediately thought of my Grandma W. I've written before about Grandma W. and her ability to chat with and make friends anywhere. Anywhere you left her for more than a few minutes, actually. It's clear that I inherited this from her.

That got me thinking. ("Oh Lord!" I hear you saying, "She THINKING again!")

I was thinking of what other traits I've inherited.

From my mother, my sense of compassion and empathy. Also her sense of humor.

From my dad, my love of jazz; specifically, Dixieland jazz. And my sense of fiscal responsibility.

From both parents, my sense of responsibility.

From my Grandma W. (me mum's mum) - my ability to talk to strangers. Maybe just my ability to talk! Chatty, you might call us.

From Grandpa W., my sense of loyalty; and a love of gadgets.

From Grandma H., (me da's mum), the love of piano and piano music. I have memories of her standing over me while I played, and her commenting on my playing. (In a good way.) Also, the love of jazz music (which is where her son, my dad, inherited it).

From Grandpa H., love and nurturing, which I learned from the example he set in his relationship with Grandma.

I'd like to think that Darling Daughter is going to inherit some of these traits. I guess time will only tell.

What do you believe you've inherited?

It's A Party!

2008-07-26T01:35:00.000-04:00

Today is a special occasion. We need to have a party!

First, let's put on our Party Glasses....

Then we'll need something to drink...

And something to eat....the numbers are wrong but the name is there...

And we'll need some of these...

And we need HATS too...

Wait a minute, what am I thinking? We need TIARAS!

Now for a gift... how about a laptop?

Maybe I could buy you a new car...

Yikes, that's pretty expensive! Maybe this is more appropriate ...

Hmm. Maybe that's still too expensive...how's this...

Naw, that's just being cheap. How about this?

No, that's right, you don't go camping...

how about this for fun?

Maybe I should just settle for sending birthday wishes your way.

Happy Birthday Mom! I love you!

Elevator Etiquette

2008-07-25T09:59:00.004-04:00

I think we all know the proper Elevator Etiquette. You enter the elevator, push your floor button, and immediately turn to face the front. Simple. Effective. Understandable in any language.

Doesn't the same thing apply when standing in line?
If it doesn't, I think it should.

Today I went to Starbucks, to begin my day with a little Nectar of the Gods. [Grande Soy Latte....mmmmmm]

Of course there was a line. But hey, I'm on vaca, right? I'm in no hurry. I'm relaxed. I'm calm. I'm mellow. I'm in THE ZONE, dudes and dudettes. The Vacation Zone.

BUT ... the ~~creep~~ gentleman in line in front of me stood with his back to the counter, facing me, the entire time he was in line.

What is UP with that? Now, it probably sounds like no big deal. But my personal space was invaded! It's one thing to be this close to the back of a stranger's shirt...but when they are turned around, and your head is under their chin and your nose is practically on their tie, it's WEIRD.

I'm not sure what was up with his reverse position thing. Maybe he was trying to keep an eye on his Mercedes in the parking lot...I don't know. We never made eye contact.

But I felt like he should have bought me dinner first.

Damn

2008-07-24T22:22:00.002-04:00

I've got a cold! A full-on head cold. I went to work today and felt miserable, like I was moving in jello. Couldn't concentrate. I'm supposed to have tomorrow off and start vacation, although have to do laundry and pack first. But the dang server was down and has thrown me off. Now I will have to go to work tomorrow, with my cold, feeling crummy, and THEN come home and do laundry and pack. And I don't feel like doing ANY of them!

I feel a major pity party coming on.

Fond Memories

2008-07-24T06:42:00.000-04:00

We always take a photo on the porch before we leave our little cottage. This was taken in 2000, so Darling Daughter was five, a week away from starting Kindergarten.

I was younger, with longer hair, and had it back in a pony tail. The day we leave is always a lot of work, cleaning it all out and trying to pack everything back in the cars to go home!

Wordless Wednesday: One of my favorite photos

2008-07-23T05:07:00.001-04:00

Daddy and Daughter building a sand castle. Taken in 2000, when daughter was five.

Three More Days!

2008-07-22T06:42:00.012-04:00

You may have noticed my little sail boat off to the right ---> is only three days away from when we leave for the Cape! Even though I have nothing packed and am not prepared in the slightest, I am doing the dance of joy!

I grew up in the Pacific Northwest, where you didn't go to the BEACH, you went to the COAST; parkas were quite often the beachwear of choice. The Pacific is a very cold ocean and the winds that blew onshore were mighty chilly.

I'd made trips to the beaches of Hawaii and Mexico, so I knew what a warm ocean felt like. I always thought you had to travel long distances to experience it. Then I moved to New England.

The Atlantic off the Cape in mid to late summer is a wonderful thing. Warm ocean currents, warm breezes - oh, it's lovely! We've spent a mininum of two weeks at the cape every year that I've lived here. The memories of the warm sand between my toes, body surfing in a warm, salty sea, sunbathing and people-watching on the beach...this is what gets me through the very LONG, very COLD, and very SNOWY winters.

After Darling Daughter was born, our vacation time was mostly watching over her as she played on the beach or the shallow waves. Now that she's older, and more independent, we all tend to do our own "thing." The Hubs always takes the kayaks and spends afternoons paddling along the little inlets and ponds. Darling Daughter has summer friends that she sees each year. It's been fun to watch the kids all grow up together.

I always take a totebag full of books and manage to read most of them before coming home. I also spend my time (when not driving Darling Daughter and friends to mini-golf, jump on trampolines, or ride the go-carts) browsing the shops (both classy and tacky!)

The last couple of years we have taken two vehicles, so that The Hubs can take off and kayak and I can do my thing. Even though we have a big 4-wheel drive pick-up, he ties the kayaks to the top of his little commuter car. It always makes me laugh - it reminds me of the Flintstones:

Last year he bought a small sailboat, and has already informed me that this year he will drive the pickup pulling the sailboat, but the kayaks are going to have to go on MY car. MY CAR? My cutie-patootie car? The cutest car EVER? My new little car that doesn't even have a scratch on it yet? I'm none too thrilled about that idea. I've driven his little car with the kayaks still on it and it's a bit disconcerting, having that big yellow thing sticking out over your head as you drive.

HOWEVER - I always found the car in a parking lot! Two yellow kayaks works a lot better than my little (pink) Mickey Mouse ears on the antenna!

The next couple of days I thought I'd post a few of my favorite photos from years past. Just to get me in the mood for the trip. (Like I need any help!!!)

"Green" as a Fashion Statement?

2008-07-21T09:27:00.000-04:00

I admit I'm grumpy. (No Snow White cracks, please). It's wicked hot (91 degrees) and humidity is awful (I can hear Tee in Georgia snickering, "You yankees don't know what real humidity is!" No doubt she's right).

I just got back from a Target run. Now, Target is my thang. I worship in the land of the big red circle. I get a kick out of seeing what the latest trends are, at least with youth. It keeps me ahead of the game. Target is pretty smart with their marketing strategy; they're on top of what's hot, they keep the merchandise on the shelves six weeks, then they yank it for the next hot trend. (Really - I read it in the Wall Street Journal).

Now, I told you that to tell you this.

When I walked in to Target today, the first thing I saw was their handbag/purse section, and on the end cap, all these tote bags with saying about "I'm Green" and ... well let me show you:

And it offended me. That's right, my delicate sensibilites were highly offended.

Doesn't it go against all that "being green" is about? Reusing, Reducing, Recycling - not, more conspicuous consumption turning "being green" into a fashion statement. It just seemed wrong to me. But like I said, I'm cranky from the heat.

On the other hand, this one made me laugh:

Mouse vs. Touchpad

2008-07-21T07:37:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure what annoys me more...using the dang touchpad on my laptop....

Or waiting for my quality Microsoft wireless optical mouse to catch up with me.

OF COURSE IT'S PINK!!!!

Plus I think it compliments my mousepad nicely.

Too bad it doesn't work as well as I'd hoped.

Hot, Humid Summer Nights

2008-07-20T06:52:00.004-04:00

We're in the middle of a heat wave -not that I'm complaining! It rained most all of June and the first half of July. Around here heat comes with humidity, and the air has been pretty thick. But now that I work in an air-conditioned office, and drive an air conditioned car, and have a.c. at home, it's not as brutal for me. (Hot Flash Mama that I am.)

EXCEPT. Last night - wicked hot and humid - and then a huge thunder and lightning storm. Power flickered a few times, then resumed. I thought we were going to make it. But our relief was short lived. Lightning either hit a transformer or knocked over a tree somewhere in the region, because power went out completely at 9:30pm. No air conditioner. No fans. No breeze through the hot, sticky air outside. And may I just say - "dark" in the country is REALLY DARK.

We keep oil lamps handy for these occasions. We lose power just often enough - lightning storms in summer, and winter storms, when the snow load is so heavy some big old tree or branch falls on lines somewhere. And, having lived in earthquake country for a number of years, I'm usually well prepared as far as batteries for radios and flashlights, etc.

But with all the construction going on, somebody moved my box of batteries. And we have stuff piled everywhere, that came out of the spaces under construction. Did we stumble around and stub toes and do a lot of cussing? Yes we did! (I protected my poor broken-on-the-cat toe).

Eventually we found the oil lamps and lit them, and stationed them strategically around the house. Then, because I couldn't find my "emergency boom box", we just sat around and sweat and complained about how miserably humid it was.

Eventually we stepped outside - risking West Nile disease from the hordes of mosquitoes. We have so many maple trees surrounding the house, when they're fully leafed out it's more of a challenge to find the night sky, but we did. And it was beautiful. With absolutely no man-made lights of any kind to interfere, it was breathtaking.

Here's something else we enjoyed... (photos found on internet because I couldn't find my ding dang camera in the dark)

(daytime photo)

You might recognize them better at night...

Views From My Office

2008-07-19T07:29:00.012-04:00

Perhaps it's because I come from Oregon. There's a lot of great history in Oregon, but it wasn't until moving to New England that I really realized how ... new? recent? ... Oregon history actually is. I mean, it only became a state in 1859. The pilgrims first landed in Provincetown, Massachusetts on November 21, 1620. (Yes, P-town first, then on to Plymouth Rock)

The first time I came to visit The Hubs during our courtship, I was flabbergasted. I got so excited just driving down the freeway reading the signs. "Look! Walden Pond!" "Oh my gosh, Concord! Where the first shots of the revolutionary war were fired!" "Orchard House, Louisa May Alcott's home!" I drove the future Hubs nuts. He actually said to me, "What's the big deal? It's just a bunch of old stuff." Argh! That still pains me! I love history, and to see these places I read about in elementary school was thrilling.

I think all the old churches are beautiful. I've taken scads of photos of my own church. Now that I work in yet another beautiful old church, I'm falling in love all over again. I can't help but want to share it with you, dear ~~readers~~ reader.

This beautiful building is where I get to go to work Monday through Friday.

Oops, I'm dilly-dallying taking pictures - I'm supposed to be in the office at 9:00!

I park directly in front of the building, and I use the middle door. After opening the door I immediately go down three huge granite steps. This is where all the offices are. I have an office with four big old windows, with lots of morning sunshine.

Standing in front of the church door, this is the view...

And a little to the right...

And these are our neighbors out the back door...

Posting From Work...A Lesson Learned!

2008-07-18T12:25:00.006-04:00

First, let me say that I'm in the office alone today. And I decided to eat my sandwich at my desk and just work through.

I just discovered that even though I usually have to push the phone line (we have three lines) button to connect to an incoming call, occasionally you are connected simply by picking up the receiver.

I learned this today as I let out a huge belch as I lifted the receiver - I hadn't pushed the line button yet, but the line was live! As I let out a burp that would have made Norm from "Cheers" proud! How flippin' embarrassing!

Fortunately it wasn't a parishoner - it was one of the Ministers.

On the other hand - it was a Minister!!!

My lesson learned today:

Construction has begun

2008-07-18T08:04:00.007-04:00

On Monday construction started on Phase Two of THE BIG REMODEL. We're living in sawdust and plastic sheeting, and there isn't such a thing as bathroom privacy anymore, but it's all worth it to see the progress being made.

We have one more week of work, then my family as well as our remodeler go on vacation for a couple of weeks.

My big news today, is that I am happily going to lose something that has been taking up space for a LONG time (no, not The Hubs!) ... THE DUMPSTER!!!

Between my big attic clear-out in April, then trying to get The Hubs to turn loose of his old ~~crap~~ valuables, then the demolition and construction to get The Hubs dialysis room ready, there's been a dumpster in my driveway more often than not this spring.

It will be back in mid-August as we continue the remodel (after all our vacations).

Just to give you an ideao of what I've been living with:

And, here's how we roll inside...

Tie Dye T-Shirts

2008-07-17T18:41:00.006-04:00

Because we are a big church, with a lot of space, AND we are right in the middle of town, community groups often use our buildings. This summer there is an organization coming in twice a week, with a dozen or so 13 year old girls.

Today they tie-dyed t-shirts. It was 90+ today, so they draped them over the wrought-iron fencing to dry. I thought it was a photo opportunity waiting to happen. Unfortunately I keep forgetting to charge the battery on my digital camera, so once again I've used my ~~crappy~~ high-tech cell phone camera.

I was going to take some photos from directly in front, but for some reason most of the shirts facing front were mostly muddy looking. Not real attractive. (Not that I would tell them that!)

This Old House

2008-07-15T08:00:00.005-04:00

I live in an old farm house. (An old, SMALL farm house!) Actually, our house is not old by New England standards - ours is the newest house in the neighborhood. We live a block away from the center of town, and the other houses are mostly mid-1800's; some are older.

The house I live in was built in 1917 by Mr. Cole, shortly after his marriage to Miss Barter. It sits on the corner of the property, which consists of 8.5 acres. Mr. and Mrs. Cole lost their first child, a daughter, who died around the age of 18 months. I don't know for sure, but I've wondered if the flu epidemic of 1917-1919 might have taken her.

Time passed, and the couple had another child. A healthy little girl, who grew up happily playing in the fields and woods of the property.

Fast forward many years. When Mr. and Mrs. Cole were in their 80's, with a move to a nursing home in their immediate future, they sold this house that they had built themselves and lived in for so long. The year was 1978; my husband, not long out of college, bought it from them.

Fast forward again. In October of 1993 I moved here to marry The Hubs. I found a job in another town soon after arriving. A coworker, who lived much closer to Boston, invited me to her house for a home party to sell hand-made jewelry. The woman who made the jewelry gave her presentation, we made our choices, and then spent time visiting. Guess who the jewelry-maker was? The daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Cole, who built our house! What a surprise. She told me how happy she was growing up here, and filled me in as to when the house was remodeled to accomodate electricity and indoor plumbing. (The outhouse imploded many years ago, but the remains can still be found on the property, covered in vines and brambles)

Fast forward to 2008. I recently started a new job in a big church in a much larger town; it's about a 20 minute commute. Everyone is very nice, and they've made me feel welcome.

Are you wondering where I'm going with this? Ready for the next coincidence?

The life partner of the very talented Music Director at my new place of employment, is the grandson of Mr. and Mrs. Cole!

I find it interesting that in 91 years, only two families have lived in this house; and each family consisted of a mother, a father, and an "only child," a daughter.

I can't help but wonder at the way the Cole family and mine have a history of reconnecting. We seem to bump up against each other's lives every few years. I look forward to the next chapter of This Old House.

Share The Love

2008-07-15T07:09:00.000-04:00

If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know that The Hubs in on dialysis. I don't know if I mentioned that he is on a transplant list, and has been for several years. Until he started dialysis, he was pretty low on the list, but now that he has started, he's moved up. Now it's a waiting game.

I was "blurfing" (I think Melisa or Jules created that term to describe blog surfing?) and was spending some time at Portia Speaks. You can follow the link to get the details, but this Award was created to show your fellow bloggers that you love their blog, at the same time as raising awareness of the importance of organ donation.

I ask that you all copy this award, post it prominently on your blog, and pass it along to those bloggers you love!

"This one time, at Band Camp..."

2008-07-14T08:03:00.001-04:00

There were no hi-jinx at Darling Daughter's Band Camp last week. It was taught by the high school band teacher. It was held at our old Town Hall, which was built in 1870.

What I didn't realize was that at the end of Band Camp week, there would be an evening concert, upstairs at the old town hall. It's very historical ,and a pretty interesting building, but of course it was about 900 degrees up there. Here's a few photos taken with my ~~crappy~~ high tech cell phone camera:

Let me point out the finer details....

And look who I was lucky enough to sit next to:

Darling Daughter has been in band since 4th grade. She's had four years of band and let me tell you, the difference between Beginning Band and four years later is HUGE. It actually sounds like music after this many years!

However, this 'camp' was open to band students from 4th through 8th grade. There were five 8th graders (including Darling Daughter) and about eleventy-seven beginning band students. You could tell which songs the kids really liked, because those were the ones they obviously practiced at home, and you could recognize the songs. The one they played the best was the theme song to Raiders of the Lost Ark, which I tried to upload to You Tube, but the sound came through really weird and obnoxious. (Are you are thinking, how could I tell the difference?)

Daughter plays clarinet pretty well, she's come a long way and I'm proud of her. This summer, her teacher wanted her to take on playing the bass clarinet, which is a mighty big, heavy instrument. It's so big it sits on the floor. Here's another ~~crappy~~ fine shot with my cell phone camera:

It looks like this:

But it always makes me think of this:

And since I always think of the above instrument, of course I have to make this sound...

Which totally ticks off Darling Daughter. But that's part of the fun.

Am I the only one old enough to remember this?

2008-07-13T15:53:00.003-04:00

I was a mere child, of course... srsly, I looked it up! It came out in 1965. I was 7!!!

And the guy fishing at the very end - I know he was a silent film actor, but can't remember who. Is it Buster Keaton?

My 'Hood

2008-07-10T08:19:00.020-04:00

I've been catching up on reading my favorite blogs. I have my basic dozen or so on my list that I try to read every day. On weekends I have more time, and there are a dozen or so that I read several posts at once and try to stay current.

Even though we live a distance away from each other (except for Queen Mommy and I!) and have never met, I feel very close to my blogging circle. We share details of our lives, each other's joys and sorrows. We're a 'virtual neighborhood'.

Last night I followed a chain of links to unfamiliar blogs. Then I started to think about this online neighborhood concept.

I tend to hang out in a Mommy Blog 'hood. There are other Mommy Blog 'hoods that I occasionally venture into. It's pretty safe territory. I picture us wearing matching pink satin jackets like the Pink Ladies in "Grease". OF COURSE I picture us in pink...what did you expect from KathyLikesPink??? (and tiaras...right Melisa?)

But just like any city, there are other, rougher neighborhoods. I've followed comment links that led me to a blogging group of college kids, posting about sexual expoits, massive alcohol consumption, foolish pranks. I read a little, laughing here and there, but mostly praying Darling Daughter doesn't fall victim to this sort of behavior when she heads off to college.

I've inadvertently ended up in a "neighborhood" of men, hunters and fishermen. The language is rougher; the photos unappealing to me. Generally it's of no interest to me, but I read a bit, much like you would stare at an accident you pass on the freeway.

Then there's the 'hood of venting employees. Angry waiters, pharmacists, grocery cashiers. I learn what really makes them mad and swear to never do that!

There are other neighborhoods that I haven't ventured into and doubt that I will. The 'hoods that flash a warning of ADULT CONTENT. I back out of those.

There you have it. My deep thoughts on the Blogging World.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take my pink satin jacket to the drycleaners.

The Moped

2008-07-10T00:01:00.001-04:00

Another joke sent by my dad...

The Moped

An elderly man on a Moped, looking about 100 years old, pulls up next to a doctor at a street light.

The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, ‘What kind of car ya got there, sonny?'

The doctor replies, ' A Ferrari GTO. It cost half a million dollars ! '

'That's a lot of money,' says the old man. 'Why does it cost so much?'

'Because this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!' states the doctor proudly.

The Moped driver asks, 'Mind if I take a look inside ?'

'No problem,' replies the doctor.

So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Then, sitting back on his Moped, the old man says, 'That's a pretty nice car, all right...But I'll stick with my Moped !'

Just then the light changes, so the doctor decides to show the old man just what his car can do. He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 160 mph.

Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!

He slows down to see what it could be and suddenly WHOOOOSSSHHH!

Something whips by him going much faster!

'What on earth could be going faster than my Ferrari ?' the doctor asks himself.

He presses harder on the accelerator and takes the Ferrari up to 250 mph.

Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it's the old man on the Moped!

Amazed that the Moped could pass his Ferrari, he gives it more gas and passes the Moped at 275 mph. And he's feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN !

Astounded by the speed of this old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Ferrari all the way up to 320 mph.

Not ten seconds later, he sees the Moped bearing down on him again ! The Ferrari is flat out, and there's nothing he can do !

Suddenly, the Moped plows into the back of his Ferrari, demolishing the rear end.

The doctor stops and jumps out and unbelievably The old man is still alive.

He runs up to the banged-up old guy and says,
'I'm a doctor.... Is there anything I can do for you ?'

The old man whispers,
'Unhook my suspenders from your side view mirror'.

Wordless Wednesday: All My Babies

2008-07-09T00:01:00.001-04:00

Darling Daughter and her best friend,

whom I call my Second Daughter,

laughing and giggling in my new 'baby', my new car.

It's a Small (Blogging) World, After All!

2008-07-08T21:05:00.003-04:00

Are you ready to hear something pretty amazing?

Are you sitting down?

You know how I have mentioned I live in this small town, population 2600, only two churches, yada yada yada.

This afternoon I learned that Queen Mommy of "From Talbot's to Target" lives in the SAME TOWN!

Wait - it gets better - not only that, but we live about four houses away from each other!

Now, it is a rural town so those four houses actually cover some distance, and we are around the corner from each other on different streets. But still, within walking distance.

IS THAT COOL OR WHAT?????

Silly Me

2008-07-07T19:48:00.006-04:00

You moms of younger kids may not know this yet, but when kids get to be 13, they get embarrassed pretty easily by their parents. (I remember being mortififed of mine, the reason why escapes me..)

Anyway - at work, they were cleaning out an office that had turned into a dumping ground. All kinds of stuff came out of that office - it was like Fibber McGee's closet - and yes, I just seriously dated myself by knowing about Fibber McGee's closet. For you uninitiated whippersnappers, here's a 26 second ~~lesson~~ clip:

So out of this office that would make Fibber McGee proud, came 4 large pink flamingoes. Not the molded plastic type, but seriously heavy wood and hand painted (did I mention they were LARGE??) They were going to TOSS THEM, can you imagine? Being a lover of all things pink, and flamingoes, I had to rescue them! I mean, they were PINK for crying out loud!!

They now reside in a spot in my garden that is well back from the road, yet still visible if you glance our way as you drive down the street.

It IS my job to give Darling Daughter something to be embarrassed about, isn't it?

Meme

2008-07-07T14:02:00.003-04:00

I'm taking the meme challenge offered by Deep Fried Apples Pies, who FINALLY is back to blogging!!!

1. What is your occupation right now? Church Secretary

2.What color are your socks right now? Birkenstocks on bare feet.

3. What are you listening to right now? Rolling Stones (yeah, yeah, yeah, WOOOO)

4. What was the last thing that you ate? A piece of peppermint gum. Gotta have fresh breath for the church folks!

5. Can you drive a stick shift? Yes and I LOVE a stick shift. I tried to get my new car with a stick but you have to special order them, apparently they are not popular.

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Me mudder.

7. Do you like the person who tagged you? Yes and I’m glad she has returned from falling off the face of the earth!

8. How old are you today? Oh jeez – 49.

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV? I am not big on any televised sport. Hmm. Probably basketball. (Does Big Brother count as a sport?)

10. What is your favorite drink? Diet Coke

11. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yes I started after my 30th high school class reunion. I am now a redhead!

12. Favorite food? Mexican and Indian food.

13. What is the last movie you watched? Déjà vu with Denzel Washington. Pretty good!

14. Favorite day of the year? The day after the last day of school! And the day we go to the cape.

15. How do you vent anger? I cuss a blue streak. Sad but true. (Not in public)

16. What was your favorite toy as a child? Chatty Cathy.

17. What is your favorite season? Summer for sure.

18. Cherries or Blueberries? Blueberries.

19. Do you want your friends to take this tag? Yes, all of them – NOW!

20. Living arrangements? Married and living in house The Hubs owns.

21. When was the last time you cried? This morning.

22. What is on the floor of your closet? Gifts and stuff I’m hiding from Darling Daughter and The Hubs.

23. What did you do last night? Cleaned the kitchen, played a game on my laptop, watched NUMB3RS

24. What are you most afraid of? Snakes

25. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburgers? Cheese. Bleu cheese, even better.

26. Favorite dog breed? Bichon Frisse

27. Favorite day of the week? Fridays

28. How many states have you lived in? Three: Massachusetts, California, Oregon.

29. Diamonds or pearls? Yes please.

30. What is your favorite flower? Hydrangea, tulips, lilacs

As if I don't waste enough time on the computer already

2008-07-06T16:44:00.001-04:00

Try out my new Bubble-popping game widget.

Small dilemma...

2008-07-05T10:57:00.004-04:00

I've just found out that my carpenter friend, who did such a beautiful job on The Hubs room for his dialysis, is free to start work on my bathroom/bedroom/ laundry area at the end of next week.

I knew he and his wife would be vacationing the first week in August. Now I've just learned that they have added more vacation time and an Alaskan cruise to the original chunk of time.

They're retired and great friends of mine and I don't begrudge them their vacation at all.

But I'm wondering, should I go ahead and have him come for the next two weeks, knock out all the old plaster? He would then go on vacation for 3-4 weeks. Or should I just have him wait and start the whole mess towards the end of August?

The Hubs, Darling Daughter and I will be on vacation for 2 weeks ourselves.

I'm itching to get this project started but not sure about living with all the dust for such a prolonged period of time. Any thoughts?

When tragedy hit "home"

2008-07-04T07:45:00.012-04:00

May 21, 1998. I had just returned home from retrieving Darling Daughter from nursery school. I was standing at the kitchen sink, loading the dishwasher; Darling Daughter, three years old, was sitting at the table eating lunch. Behind me, the small portable television was on to the local mid-day news; I was half-listening to it as I worked. I snapped to attention when I heard "School shooting in Springfield, Oregon." I spun around, but the newscaster had already moved on. Massachusetts is 2500 miles from Oregon and there were local stories to talk about.

I quickly switched the channel to CNN; they were showing live footage of the havoc and confusion going on "back home." I burst into tears. The screen showed dazed and bloodied students wandering out of the high school. Ambulances and police cars, lights flashing, were in every view. I heard the words "Thurston High School" and "shooter Kip Kinkel, tackled by fellow students, now in custody." Two students dead, 25 wounded. Kip Kinkel shot and killed his parents at home the night before; the following morning he took a knife and three guns to school and began firing. Like the rest of the country, I was stunned.

Kinkel? My favorite teacher, known as Faith Z(xxxx) when I began junior high, married soon after, and became Faith Kinkel. I had never known another Kinkel. Could there be a connection?

I stayed glued to CNN for the remainder of the day, distraught and sick to my stomach. The first names of Kip Kinkel's parents were never mentioned. Finally, near midnight, a photo was shown of the Kinkel family on a ski vacation .

Though 20 years had passed, I immediately recognized her long red hair and wide smile. It was indeed Faith Kinkel. My french teacher, who taught us well, and made learning fun. Violently killed by her own son.

At 6pm on May 2o, 1998, in the family kitchen, 15 year old Kip Kinkel shot his father in the back of the head with one shot, execution style. He then waited for his mother to return home. He met her in the garage, told her he loved her, and shot her six times: four times in the head, and two in the heart.

-------------------------------------------------------

It's been ten years since that awful day. Now 25 years old, Kip Kinkel was recently transferred from the juvenile facility to the adult correctional facility. A photo of the 25 year old Kip was shown. As an adult, he clearly takes after his mother...the same wide-set eyes; her hair; her mouth. It pains me to see her face in his.

There were school shootings before the Thurston High School tragedy; there have been many since. The April 1999 images of Columbine students frantically scrambling out the windows are etched in our collective memory.

In the days (and months) after the Thurston shooting, many voiced outrage at Kip Kinkel's deceased parents. Kip had long had a fascination for guns. After initially fighting it, his father eventually gave in, bought him guns, signed him up for NRA gun safety classes. In fact I've never read anything positive about his parents. I don't defend the gun purchases, but my affection and admiration for Madame Kinkel will not be changed.

After every shooting, the locals are quoted, saying "We never thought this could happen here." On May 21, 1998, I learned it could happen anywhere.

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday - Summer in New England

2008-07-02T05:33:00.001-04:00

Even though we've had nothing but rain and thunder storms for a couple of weeks now, it's been warm and pretty muggy.

Darling Daughter and I made the trek to our favorite farm ice cream stand again.

Mine: Raspberry Rage...raspberry ice cream, with chocolate truffles filled with raspberry sauce.

Darling Daughter's: Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookie Dough...self-explanatory.

We were at the home of friends during one of the thunder storms. We were busy chatting and didn't realize their cat was outside. Look who came to the door AFTER the storm...have you ever seen such a ticked off cat??

I think the photo is screaming for an "LOLCat" caption but I can't think of anything clever. Care to take a crack at it?

You young 'uns have it easy!

2008-07-01T08:37:00.000-04:00

My dad sent me this via email and it made me laugh.

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were when they were growing up, what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning .... uphill BOTH ways, yadda, yadda, yadda. And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it. But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!! There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself. Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting. If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal - that's it. And we didn't have fancy Caller ID Boxes either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was. It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics either. We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or screens; it was just one screen forever. And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

When you went to the movie theater there was no such thing as stadium seating. All the seats were the same height. If a tall guy or some old broad with a hat sat in front of you and you couldn't see, you were just screwed! Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only like 15 channels and there was no on screen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on.

You were screwed when it came to channel surfing. You had to get off your butt and walk over to the TV to change the channel, and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled brats!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove or go build a fire. Imagine that! If we wanted popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled.

You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

Regards,

The over 30 Crowd

Where I work

2008-06-30T17:15:00.006-04:00

I thought I might share this with you.

This is a picture of the church where I now work:

This is a picture of the church where I used to work:

New England churches look a lot alike!

(FYI: I was not the one who laid on her belly to take the first picture)

Another Book Meme

2008-06-30T07:50:00.003-04:00

I liked the book meme over at Queen Goob's so I thought I'd play along.
------------------------------------------
Pick up the nearest book(s).
Turn to page 123.
Find the 5th sentence.
Copy down the next three sentences..
-------------------------------------------

"Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict," by Laurie Viera Rigler

She reminds me of Frank's mother, who, at our engagement dinner, talked to me incessantly about what a catch Wes was. Not her son, whom I was going to marry, but Wes, his best friend. Did I understand why such an extraordindarily good-looking young man such as Wes was still unatached?

"The Gravedigger's Daughter," by Joyce Carol Oates

Gus said it was good news, wasn't it?
Pa said, sputtering, "Bring the damn 'prize' out, I want to see this damn 'prize' for myself. Fast!"

"Fast" counts as a sentence there, right?

Actually I have finished the first book and am about to start the second. I just bought two new books but left them in another room so they don't count on this meme!

By the way, I have just read about MEME at Wikipedia (thanks for the idea, Goob!) and now I know it is pronounced in one syllable, to sound like GENE. Not MiMi, the heavily made-up secretary on "The Drew Carey Show." (blushing at my ignorance...)

100th Post: 100 things about me, 76-100

2008-06-29T13:50:00.000-04:00

76. I love my new car (PT Cruiser). It’s a blast to drive.
77. I haven’t been this tickled about a car since my very first car – a 1973 Super Beetle.
78. I love games. Board games, card games, video games, PC games.
79. No one in my family likes to play games.
80. My best friend is British.
81. I developed a peanut allergy at the age of 46.
82. After spending a full day in the emergency room for the peanut reaction, I was tested for other allergens.
83. I am also allergic to dairy, pollen, but the number one thing is CORN.
84. I really miss not being able to eat corn on the cob in the summer
85. Corn syrup, dextrose, or maltodextrine is in almost every packaged food item; it’s a very limited range of foods I can eat. (Yet I'm still very over weight-go figure.)
86. I love movies.
87. I am currently reading “Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict”. It’s amusing, but not deep.
88. I hate snow. This hatred came forth after many winters of shoveling snow.
89. I like dogs, but I love cats.
90. When Mt. Saint Helen’s blew her top, I was living 150 miles south, yet it still knocked pictures off my walls.
91. I was living in the SF Bay area when the Loma Prieta “World Series” earthquake hit in 1989.
92. That’s enough natural disaster for me, thank you very much.
93. I love the British comedies on PBS.
94. I love the smell of fresh laundry.
95. After wearing jeans to work for the past four years, I’m finding it a challenge to dress “up” five days a week for my new job.
96. I love teaching Sunday School.
97. I am the “Craft Queen” when it comes to kid crafts, and I usually lead all the crafts for our Vacation Bible School. But this year I will be working and can’t participate.
98. I have come to despise flying.
99. I like bright colors, and rarely wear black.
100. PINK is my favorite color! (Big shocker!)

Boy, this was hard. I’m glad I’ve reached the end, and I’m grateful the tradition doesn’t include 200 things on your 200th post!

100th Post -100 Things About Me: 51-75

2008-06-28T16:32:00.001-04:00

51. I have lived in New England for 15 years.
52. Before moving here at the age of 34, I had moved 17 times after moving out of my parent’s house.
53. When you move that often, you travel lighter than most.
54. Living in one house for 15 years killed that!
55. I am not the least creative or artistic. Except with a computer.
56. I love office supply stores the way some women love shoe stores.
57. I love playing tourist in New York City but I’m happy to come home to Tiny Town.
58. We are such small town country bumpkins, when we go visit family in a city, Darling Daughter and I are amazed at the garbage trucks. The truck itself picks up each can and dumps it! No guys riding at the back or anything!
59. When I was a teenager I belonged to an organization called “Rainbow Girls.” It was a youth group connected to the Masonic Lodge. I loved it.
60. It taught me responsibility, and respect, and, archaic as it sounds, lady-like behavior.
61. I got married in 1978 at the age of 19.
62. The marriage lasted 9 years.
63. While cleaning out my attic last April, I found a box inside of a box, which turned out to hold husband # 1’s Boy Scout patches, badges, and handbook.
64. I looked up his address on the internet and shipped it to him.
65. I think that’s proof that I’m a nice person!
66. Having said that – I am immensely entertained by South Park, Family Guy and Miami: 911.
67. I’ve come to the conclusion that I have the sense of humor of an adolescent boy.
68. Pull my finger….JUST KIDDING!
69. When I was in high school, I tp’d a house with my friends, ONE TIME.
70. It was a beloved teacher who had a good sense of humor.
71. As we were leaving the scene of the crime we passed he and his wife in their car, coming home. I felt incredibly guilty.
72. I was extremely shy as a kid. Hard to believe now.
73. My first job at the age of 16 was as a cashier, and I was so shy I couldn’t look customers in the eye, or say “thank you.” But the job helped me come out of my shell.
74. I still think it would be fun to be a Target cashier. Nowadays you don’t even have to count the change back, and they have that cool scanner thingie!
75. But I’m pretty sure I’d spend my entire paycheck before I left the store.

100th Post/Things About Me, 26-50

2008-06-27T17:50:00.001-04:00

26. I love being a church secretary.
27. I can type 110 words a minute.
28. I just started a new job at a new church.
29. It’s a much bigger church in a much bigger town.
30. My old job was at a church that was first gathered in 1789.
31. My new job is at a church that was first gathered in 1721.
32. I’ve met members at the new church who can trace their ancestry in town back to eight generations.
33. Some of them can trace their ancestry back to the Mayflower.
34. My family came to America on a much later boat!
35. I seem to have surgery once each decade: knee surgery at 15, appendix out at 25, c-section at 36, and deviated septum at 48.
36. The surgery for the deviated septum did, in fact, help my snoring.
37. My family is grateful my snoring is better.
38. Note that I did not say my snoring was nonexistent!
39. I had six years of French class in school.
40. My junior high French teacher was my favorite teacher of all time.
41. I had years of piano lessons as a kid.
42. I loved playing the piano.
43 . Although I can still read music, I can’t play the piano anymore.
44. I wish I had studied the flute instead of the piano, because you can carry a flute with you throughout your life.
45. Both sets of grandparents had pianos as did my parents.
46. Somehow I ended up without ANY of the pianos. What’s up with that?
47. I loved all my grandparents dearly, and not a day goes by that I don’t think of them.
48. A life regret of mine is that Darling Daughter does not live closer to grandparents and cousins.
49. I never planned to have children; in fact I planned NOT to have any.
50. I can’t imagine life without Darling Daughter.

100th Post

2008-06-26T20:24:00.004-04:00

This sort of snuck up on me. 100 posts! In keeping with what appears to be a blogging tradition, I will present 100 (boring and useless) facts about myself, 25 at a time.

100 (Boring) Things about me

1. I have lived in three states: Oregon, California, and Massachusetts.

2. I acquired my old kitty, who died last year at the age of 19, when I lived in California in the late 80’s.

3. When I moved back to Oregon I drove a U-haul truck with old kitty next to me on the seat.

4. When I moved to Massachusetts, old kitty was next to me on the seat of a U-haul.

5. Old kitty was better traveled than a lot of people in my family!

6. I always wanted to see New England – just never dreamed I’d end up living here.

7. My love of New England started when I saw the movie “Jaws” the summer of 1975.

8. I fell in love with the beaches and dunes and storm fencing and beach roses.

9. Since moving here, we spend 2-4 weeks at Cape Cod every summer and I absolutely love it.

10. I went to see “Jaws” with my sister and our two cousins (a shout out to Kelly, Linda and Susan!)

11. The movie theater was so packed we had to sit nearly in the front row.

12. When that eyeless head fell through the boat window while Richard Dreyfus was underwater we SCREAMED, baby.

13. “Jaws” has continued to be one of my favorite movies of all time.

14. People think I’m nuts because “Jaws” is one of my favorite movies.

15. My husband rather resembles the Richard Dreyfus character (beard, glasses, flannel shirts).

16. I’m guessing you’re pretty sick of hearing about “Jaws” by now.

17. I do love New England but I’m constantly homesick for Oregon.

18. I’m secretly hoping Darling Daughter goes to the University of Oregon. (Go Ducks!)

19. Currently my cell phone ring tone is the U of O fight song.

20. Although UMass wouldn’t be bad either.

21. I’m married to a man with an I.Q. at genius level, and the people skills of toast.

22. This has created more than a few problems in our marriage.

23. I’ve been a church secretary for seven years.

24. Prior to being a church secretary, I worked in the corporate world for many years.

25. After working in the corporate world for so long I felt very jaded. (Golden parachute clauses; $50,000 company cars every three years; expensive golf club memberships paid for by the company; meanwhile people at lower levels were getting laid off).

Next post: 26-50

Wordless Wednesday: Dead End

2008-06-25T00:23:00.000-04:00

Where have I been?

2008-06-23T07:04:00.005-04:00

You may have noticed I haven't really done a lot of posting lately. There's just so much going on that I haven't really had much time to focus on it.

I left my last job on May 31st, and began my new job on June 16th. In the two weeks in between, I worked my butt off trying to get ready for the construction that would soon began (and has since begun). I've had several evening meetings for my various committees; traded in my car (and the research that went in to getting a new one); had to put two cats down; and I've gone with The Hubs to the dialysis center so that I could be well-versed in that process.

Feels like an awful lot of drama/trauma in a short period of time!

Unfortunately I don't seen a quick end to it, although things may calm down some. We've had construction going on six days a week for two weeks (this begins the third week); he's racing to get the room ready for The Hubs dialysis. The room looks fabulous, by the way. That project will be finished the end of this week.

Then I have him coming back to start work on the bathroom and master bedroom; The Hubs never finished the renovations and we've lived in a half-~~assed~~ done mess ever since. Hopefully by the end of summer much of that will be done. But of course, I have to completely empty out the rooms first.

So that's the scoop -I hope you don't bail out on me before I can begin concentrating again!!!

In the mean time, remember...

What do you think...

2008-06-22T23:32:00.005-04:00

Is this guy from New England or WHAT???

File this under...

2008-06-21T05:40:00.003-04:00

"This Could Only Happen to Me."

I think I broke my little toe.

On a cat.

Before you go thinking I somehow drop-kicked a cat, let me just say, no cats were hurt in the breaking of my toe.

Yesterday morning I was walking down the hall towards my bedroom. Stepped into the bedroom - suddenly little Hazel came zooming by me and did that cat-thing where they crouch and then leap. She did this just as I was moving my left foot forward.

I still don't understand how this is at all possible, but apparently just as she did her crouch thing, my little toe connected with the bone in her backwards-knee position...is any of this making sense?

Anyway - she didn't seem to feel anything, and has acted perfectly normal ever since. In that 8-month old kitten perfectly normal way...leaping, flying around corners, nosing into things she shouldn't.

Meanwhile my little toe has been a deep dark purplish-red for over 24 hours and is sore to the touch. I'm just guessing but I think it's broken.

This could only happen to me.

Should Have Seen This Coming

2008-06-20T06:33:00.011-04:00

In a previous post I did a little rant about THONGS and VICTORIA'S SECRET.

Have you seen the recent news about a woman suing Victoria's Secret over a THONG INJURY? It's priceless - check it out here...Victoria's Secret Thong Injures Woman.

Thank you, and my new toy

2008-06-17T18:52:00.005-04:00

Thank you all for your kind words. It was very hard to lose two pets at once like that. But so many told me I would know when it was time, and it was finally time.

On the brighter side, look at my new toy:

I did it - I traded in the People Mover and got myself a cute little PT Cruiser! I absolutely love it! It still sits relatively high so getting in and out is as easy as the van was. There's a lot of leg room for everyone. And it's so CUTE!

I researched it heavily beforehand. I was a little surprised to find out the primary demographic was 51 year olds! And here I was feeling younger for driving it.

Darling Daughter actually WANTS to go places with me. At least for now!

And isn't it just so darn CUTE!

Farewell to Two Beloved Pets

2008-06-13T20:18:00.005-04:00

Cheerios (9 yrs 11 mos) & Lucky (14 yrs, 3 mos)

today left this mortal realm.

Photo taken in happier, healthier times

Beloved pets,

best buddies to the end,

who will be sorely missed.

We love you, sweet kitties.

We're having a heat wave...

2008-06-12T00:01:00.000-04:00

Oh my gosh. Only in New England could you have 53* one day and 92* the next. Yesterday I saw the thermometer hit 101*. It's not even the middle of June! I hate to see Mother Nature put so much effort into summer so early - she is gonna wear herself OUT by August.

She's gonna wear ME out too ... heat wave + menopausal hot flashes = one crazed woman.

And to add to the fun? One of the cats walked across my chest as I was reading in bed a couple nights ago, and I now have poison ivy on both ta-ta's. I'm red-faced and heat crazed and now I'm itching like mad.

This is no way to start summer.

Wordless Wednesday: Grrr

2008-06-11T00:58:00.000-04:00

Ahhh....Compromise

2008-06-10T09:54:00.010-04:00

The dictionary's definition....

Compromise: A settlement of differences by mutual concessions; an agreement reached by adjustment of conflicting or opposing claims, principles, etc., by reciprocal modification of demands.

My definition...

Compromise: The glue that holds a marriage together...or at least stops you from doing 25 to life.

Thus, the latest chapter in the ongoing saga of me trying to get The Hubs to shake loose of his ~~old musty pre-marriage crap~~ valuables.
He has tossed SOME into the dumpster (a minimal amount in my opinion).

What we have ended up with is him erecting a wooden garden-shed type thing in the driveway and he is very methodically packing all his ~~$h!t~~ into that.

I'm not particularly thrilled about it, in fact I fumed for a good 48 hours. Now I'm choosing to look at it this way:

At least it's out of the house;
It's more likely to be damaged sitting out there, hopefully to the extent that even he agrees it must GO;
When if he finally concedes to let me throw it all away, it's that much closer to the curb. Not that we have curbs in this very tiny farm town. But you get the drift.

Our carpenter is here and in day two of the demolition stage, knocking out all the old horsehair plaster. What a mess! And it's been in the 90's for three days. The gentleman is a close friend and I so appreciate his help! Thank God for good friends!

2008-06-09T06:29:00.000-04:00

My mom sent me the coolest link and suggested I post it here. I agree with her - it's pretty great! I'm including the link, and I tried to show a screen shot, although it doesn't show everything. Check it out!

Link to website..

ALL MY FAVES

(If you click on the picture you will see a larger version)

Thanks, Mom!

I AM married to Howard Hughes!!!

2008-06-07T15:20:00.011-04:00

Howard Hughes in the creepy "save everything" years, that is.

I arrived home at 2pm after working at a church event since 8am. The Hubs was supposed to be working on clearing out his ~~junk room~~ office.

This is what I found...

Do you see what I see? Let me make it easier...

Now, I've heard of Dumpster Diving....but Dumpster SORTING????

That's right...while I was gone, instead of working on throwing stuff away and clearing out the room so we can have the room ready for his dialysis (we have a carpenter coming Monday morning!), The Hubs chose to sort through the dumpster, pulling out junk junk JUNK VALUABLE STUFF.

I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry.

Today....I Shred

2008-06-05T12:05:00.007-04:00

No, I'm not pulling fancy tricks on my skate board.

I mean the other kind of shredding. That you run papers through and they get turned into confetti. Let me explain...

I'm continuing my efforts in trying to get rid of 30+ years of junk that has accumulated in this house. I've already attacked the attic and immortalized it here and here.

My current excavation is the room that The Hubs refers to as "The Office" and Darling Daughter and I refer to as "Dad's Junk Room." There's a real sense of urgency to this project. Let me explain...

The Hubs is due to start dialysis immediately. He has chosen Peritoneal Dialysis, which is done at home. This is creating several problems. Let me explain...

Monday of this week he informed me that there will be 60 - yes 60 - boxes being delivered any day now, PLUS equipment, for his home dialysis. We have a VERY small, old farm house. The Hubs is King Pack Rat of All the World. We don't have room for 60 of ANYTHING in this tiny house! Plus, his dialysis should be in a sterile environment.

So this week I am attacking "Dad's Junk Room." The plan is to empty it out completely, then have a very talented carpenter friend of ours tear out the old horsehair plaster, replaster, new floor, new lighting. Create a better environment for his dialysis.

The reason I want EVERYTHING cleared out is because he has not touched any of the stuff in this room for years. It's not even a Man Cave as he never goes in there. It's just a room full of old pre-marriage stuff sitting there taking up space.

I knew this clearing out was going to be extremely painful for The Hubs. He does not willingly part with ANYTHING, and he has a skewed vision of what needs to be saved and what can be tossed. Basically he wants to save everything and toss nothing. Change does not come easy for him. Which is kind of weird since he is an engineer and designs newer and faster computer chips for a living.

I had a friend help me and we hauled out a lot of big stuff. (Two old computers - and I mean OLD - mid 1980's - that were just sitting in a corner.) Notebooks and binders from COLLEGE - the man is 56 years old!!! I left the ham radio he built when he was 12. I intend for it to go eventually but I thought he might like to tell Darling Daughter a bit about it before it does.

I was beginning to think I was married to Howard Hughes in the creepy years. Thank God I didn't come across any jars of his fingernail clippings....or worse. (Remember all that weird $h!t they found after Hughes died? He had saved EVERYTHING.)

Now I'm down to his old files. Which he thinks are all important and need to be saved. PUH-LEEZE! He has every tax return since 1971! (I myself was a mere CHILD at that time but he was working his way through college).

Tonight we had a ~~fight~~ chat. Unbeknownst to me, he actually WENT THROUGH THE DUMPSTER yesterday morning to see what valuable things of his I've thrown away, and he hauled some stuff out. Did I mention it rained all day? The man sorted through junk in a dumpster IN THE RAIN. He has serious problems, this guy.

My plan for today? I'm taking my heavy-duty shredder in and start going through his ancient file cabinet. He'll cringe when he hears about it. But at least he won't be able to pull it all out and piece it back together.

Wordless Wednesday: In Case of Emergency

2008-06-04T00:02:00.001-04:00

Cat update

2008-06-03T09:48:00.002-04:00

Back in March I wrote about sad news we received about our cats. Middle cat has an uncurable, highly contagious and always fatal disease. The outlook was that one by one all three cats would get it and they would all slowly die. I thought I'd write an update and perhaps ask for some opinions.

Middle cat (Cheerios, 10 years old) has been ill four to five months. She is frightenly thin, and light as a feather. She still eats (lightly) and drinks, follows me like a lamb, and purrs up a storm on a regular basis. The vet said she didn't believe she was in pain, just uncomfortable.

Oldest cat (Lucky, 14 years old) has always had a chronic respiratory thing going on, from living on the streets before we adopted him. Now I believe he has this disease. He is still active and loving, but his eyes don't look as sharp, and his sneezing and coughing is worse. On the other hand - he's 14, perhaps this is just old age.

Baby cat (Hazel, 8 months old) is still frisky and energetic and shows no signs of disease. We are praying very hard that her youth and baby shots will keep her disease free. We don't know if that's possible, but we have hope.

Maybe it's my own uncomfortableness that is getting to me. My heart breaks a bit every time I cuddle with them. Especially Cheerios - you can see the outline of hip bones and shoulder blades. Her tummy is round because of enlarged/swollen organs.

I'm really torn. I'm not sure whether to have them put down or keep going.

I welcome opinions on the situation.

Mom-1, Darling Daughter-0 ??

2008-06-01T00:46:00.005-04:00

I think I might have impressed Darling Daughter, a feat not easily accomplished.

While driving along with the radio tuned to my favorite Oldies station - like music from the 70's is considered OLD - (DON'T SAY IT!!!!) - what should come on but "American Pie". The long version. Which I sang along to and KNEW ALL THE WORDS.

I really think I impressed Daughter. I mean, she kept looking at me out of the corner of her eye. And she didn't make any snarky 13-year-old comments.

To all you fellow middle-aged moms out there: Rock on with your bad selves.

Filch-it Friday: Why blog?

2008-05-30T01:12:00.002-04:00

Today I'm filching (once again) from Foolery. This time it's her "Why Blog?" post.

A few short months ago if you had asked me what a blog was, I would have said "a political online journal." That was the only type of blog I'd heard of; they were linked to the online newspapers I read. I'd never taken the time to read more than a couple of lines of any of them.

Then in November a new friend entered my life, and she regaled me with stories from her sister's blog - "Simply Nutmeg". My interest was piqued and I read every post. Over the New Year's holiday I discovered Bye, Bye, Buy, in which June Can't-Buy-That wrote about her year of not spending any money. (Which has now morphed into Bye, Bye, Pie) - again, I read every post.

I've always been a gabby person, whether in person or in writing. I wrote long letters to my family back home in Oregon, then long emails - with way more information and detail than they probably ever wanted to know. Funny thing about all that writing - I didn't receive much response. My mom has always been great about writing and replying. Sis and Aunts wrote now and again, but nothing like I poured out to them. I may have had a better response if I had put my letter into a bottle and tossed it out to sea.

Why do I always have so much to say? I believe I inherited the gene from my Grandma W. Everyone in the family has stories to tell of taking her along someplace, and in the two minutes we stepped away, when we returned she would not only be in deep conversation with the person next to her, they would have exchanged phone numbers to continue their discussion. For many years she had a phone friendship with a woman she met while sitting on a bench at the mall (while we were in the store shopping).

Anyway. Why do I blog? It's pretty simple, really. I just seem to have a lot to say, and I type faster than I write by hand. This is better than a journal because I receive feedback via comments, and emails. And I don't even have to throw my laptop out to sea.

The Image in the Looking Glass

2008-05-29T01:24:00.001-04:00

Reading a recent post at Suburban Scrawl got me thinking. (Good job, Melisa!) Please bear with me.

Darling Daughter has gorgeous, thick, wavy hair. In my family, straight, thin, lifeless hair is the norm. Thank God Darling Daughter inherited her hair from The Hubs side of the family, maybe this 'thin hair' cycle is broken. I would LOVE to have hair like hers.

But Darling Daughter has mentioned more than once how lucky I am to have straight hair. And she just got her hair cut. Not just cut but thinned and layered. It looks very nice. But I cringed a little with each snip of the scissors, and admit I was envious of those long, thick locks that lay on the floor.

Not too long ago was I standing in the shampoo aisle at CVS, searching for a product that would give my lifeless hair some lift, some poof, some body...basically change it's nature completely. A miracle in a bottle. There was another woman in this shampoo aisle doing the same thing I was - reading each label to see what it promised. She had gorgeous thick, naturally curly hair. I felt so blah and self-conscious about my own hair just standing next to her.

We got to talking (because I am like that - I talk to EVERYONE!) and she told me she HATED her hair. She was studying each shampoo bottle to see if she could find one that would straighten her hair. Her hair was AMAZING, very Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. I was shocked that she appeared to so hate her hair.

Why does it always seem as though the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence? Why can't we accept ourselves, embrace ourselves as we are? So often we're our own worst enemy. We would NEVER tolerate a friend (some friend!) who spoke to us in the way we speak to ourselves.

I've tried to teach Darling Daughter to love who she is. I've "used my words" but clearly I haven't enacted it. Hair is only the most recent example. My own inner voice is a real downer much of the time. I'm going to try to work on that. And hopefully set a better example for my daughter.

Wordless Wednesday: Memorial Day

2008-05-28T01:41:00.001-04:00

Photo taken in the Old Burial Ground in our small town

Not So Friendly Skies

2008-05-27T00:54:00.002-04:00

Did you see the recent news from American Airlines? Not only are they jacking prices again, but to check ONE BAG there is now a $15 fee. They're laying off hundreds of workers. Most likely the workers who would have handled the checked bags.

I used to love flying. I flew for the first time when I was 18 years old and a girlfriend and I visited multiple Hawaiian Islands. It really was something. The seats were comfortable with lots of leg room and personal space; the flight attendants were very polite and helpful. The food was even good!

I've flown a lot over the years since then. I guess that's my problem. I remember when it used to be a pleasurable experience. Now it's my idea of Hell On Earth.

The flight is overbooked, so you better get your boarding pass early. You slowly shuffle forward like automatons, waiting your turn to go through security . Did you read how the security screeners missed the bomb parts but yanked the bottle of water IN THE SAME SUITCASE???

And again, same thing only this time they "caught" a bottle of shampoo???

They pack you in like sardines. You bring your own food...how long before they charge you to carry on that lunch bag?

This comic from Mike Luchovich really hits the nail on the head:

I am in awe of Don Mills Diva, a pilot herself. How wonderful it would be if I could fly myself west? Unfortunately, if I want to see my parents, sister, or anyone else in my family I have to suffer through the indignities of airline travel. Something always goes wrong, I never have all four flights be event-free. I'm just dreading it.

I wish they'd hurry up and create a real Star Trek transporter. Beam me up, Scotty.

How much is gas in your location?

2008-05-26T03:13:00.002-04:00

After passing several gas stations with $4.05 a gallon, when I came across one that still had $3.89 I stopped and filled up. I sure never thought that $3.89 would feel like a bargain. I'm in central Massachusetts.

How much is gas in your area? (Lurkers, please post too.)

Hints of the Summer to Come

2008-05-26T00:30:00.004-04:00

Today was a GLORIOUS day! We've had sunshine for several days but it's been chilly. The nights were in the 40's!! That's dang cold for May but finally ... warmth ... heat ... SUMMER! I even wore thongs today! Footwear, not the underwear.

Every time I say "I'm going to go put on my thongs" in front of my daughter's friends, teenage heads whip around so fast I think they're gonna get whiplash. I'm not sure what they find most shocking - thinking I'm talking to them about underwear, or the thought of a chunky middle-aged mom wearing such a thing. You can imagine the sighs of relief when they realize I'm talking about my feet.

I know I'm dating myself by referring to summer shoes as THONGS. I try to remember to call them flip-flops. What Einstein came up with the idea of giving underwear a name that's been associated with sandals for 50 years? Or is that, in fact, Victoria's Secret? Heck, who came up with the idea of butt floss to begin with?

Ahem.

Beautiful day today. Ice cream season officially started April 1st and by now all the farm ice cream stands are open. Darling Daughter and I went out to our favorite. The line was pretty long but a nice warm day will do that. The hardest part is deciding what flavor!

What flavor would YOU choose?

I went with Reverse Chocolate Chip. It's chocolate ice cream with chunks of white chocolate. YUM.

The Bible as told by a Child

2008-05-25T00:51:00.000-04:00

I hope this doesn't offend anyone. It was forwarded to me and I thought it was pretty cute.

The Bible as told by a Child

In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas.

The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is one," but I think He must be a lot older than that.

Anyway, God said, 'Give me a light!' and someone did. Then God made the world.

He split the atom and made Eve. Adam and Eve were naked, but they weren't embarrassed because mirrors hadn't been invented yet.

Adam and Eve disobeyed God by eating one bad apple, so they were driven from the Garden of Eden. Not sure what they were driven in though, because they didn't have cars.

Adam and Eve had a son, Cain, who hated his brother as long as he was Abel. Pretty soon all of the early people died off, except for Methuselah, who lived to be like a million or something.

One of the next important people was Noah, who was a good guy, but one of his kids was kind of a Ham. Noah built a large boat and put his family and some animals on it. He asked some other people to join him, but they said they would have to take a rain check.

After Noah came Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Jacob was more famous than his brother, Esau, because Esau sold Jacob his birthmark in exchange for some pot roast. Jacob had a son named Joseph who wore a really loud sports coat.

Another important Bible guy is Moses, whose real name was Charlton Heston. Moses led the Israel Lights out of Egypt and away from the evil Pharaoh after God sent ten plagues on Pharaoh's people. These plagues included frogs, mice, lice, bowels, and no cable.

God fed the Israel Lights every day with manicotti. Then he gave them His Top Ten Commandments. These include don't lie, cheat, smoke, dance, or covet your neighbor's stuff. Oh, yeah, I just thought of one more: Humor thy father and thy mother.

One of Moses' best helpers was Joshua who was the first Bible guy to use spies. Joshua fought the battle of Geritol and the fence fell over on the town.

After Joshua came David. He got to be king by killing a giant with a slingshot. He had a son named Solomon who had about 300 wives and 500 porcupines. My teacher says he was wise, but that doesn't sound very wise to me.

After Solomon there were a bunch of major league prophets. One of these was Jonah, who was swallowed by a big whale and then barfed upon the shore. There were also some minor league prophets, but I guess we don't have to worry about them.

After the Old Testament came the New Testament. Jesus is the star of the New Testament. He was born in Bethlehem in a barn. (I wish I had been born in a barn, too, because my mom is always saying to me, 'Close the door! Were you born in a barn?' It would be nice to say yes.

During His life, Jesus had many arguments with sinners like the Pharisees and the Democrats. Jesus also had twelve opossums. The worst one was Judas Asparagus. Judas was so evil that they named a terrible vegetable after him.

Jesus was a great man. He healed many leopards and even preached to some Germans on the Mount. But the Democrats and all those guys put Jesus on trial before Pontius the Pilot. Pilot didn't stick up for Jesus. He just washed his hands instead.

Anyways, Jesus died for our sins, then came back to life again. He went up to Heaven but will be back at the end of the Aluminum. His return is foretold in the book of Revolution.

A Meme for Me-Me: The letter K

2008-05-24T00:20:00.005-04:00

I've been working on this meme challenge I was tossed from Sue of As Cape Cod Turns. Melisa thought M was hard - but K was a challenge too!

Here are the rules: Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things. Nothing made up! You CAN'T use your own name, other than the first question.

What is your name: Kathryn
4 letter word: Krap (I assume it was supposed to be a naughty word...really struggled to think of one)
Vehicle: Kia
City: Kalamazoo
Boy's Name: Keith (Partridge?!)
Girl's Name: Katrina
Drink: Kahlua (YEAH, baby!)
Occupation: Knife sharpener
Something you wear: Kilt
Celebrity: Karen Allen
Food: Klondike Bar
Something found in a bathroom: Kleenex
Reason for Being Late: KEYS are missing!
Cartoon Character: Katzenjammer Kids (and HOW old am I!?)
Something you shout: Krud? KIDDING! Knucklehead!
Animal: Kangaroo
Body part: Knee
Word to describe you: Kind (krazy?!)

Filch-It Friday: Seven Confessions

2008-05-23T00:40:00.006-04:00

Today I am joining in Simply Nutmeg's Filch It Friday Extravaganza.

I'm tired and cranky so please keep that in mind when reading my Seven Confessions, as filched from the following folks: Ok where was I? and Foolery.

Seven Confessions

[1] My husband never finishes any project he begins at home. NEVER. I am not making this up. Twelve years ago he put in new stairs from the cellar to the kitchen. Never put up the hand rail. It's lying down cellar, probably rotting away. In fact after he took the old stairs out, it took him 2 years to put the new stairs in! I had to go OUTSIDE and down and around to get to my washer and dryer. Oh wait - this is supposed to be confessions about ME? Ok. HIS BEHAVIOR DRIVES ME TO THE BRINK OF INSANITY!!! There. Whew.

[2] I really am a terrible housekeeper. When I lived alone I loved keeping my place company-ready. Now I have these two extra people sharing living space (The Hubs and Darling Daughter) and it seems impossible. Just when I have something organized, one of them come along behind me and mess it up again. After a gazillion times I feel like, "Why bother?"

[3] As out of control as I feel at home, I am the opposite at work.

[4] I am seriously overweight and I need to deal with it soon. My weight is in direct proportion to my depression. With The Hubs' health spiraling downward these past couple of years, my weight has spiraled UP.

[5] As much as I love to read, I just don't DO libraries very well. I can roam them and browse for hours, check out books - and then I always forget to return them.

[6] Growing up in the Pacific Northwest, where you don't go to the beach without jeans and a parka (and that's in July), I think Cape Cod in the summertime is the greatest thing in the world. I've been to Hawaii, Mexico - I still love the Cape best.

[7] I'm not a huge nature lover, unless I'm protected by screens or walking on asphalt. Nope. Not into the whole bug, snake, creepy-crawly roughing-it kind of thing. Some people hear the call of the wild...I prefer to call room service. It's a cosmic joke that I now live in the country.

And there you have it. My seven confessions.

The Battle is On

2008-05-22T01:57:00.001-04:00

The damn raccoons have taken this fight up a notch.

The damn raccoons with their little opposable thumbs find it so easy to unlatch the garbage cans, dig into my trash and leave a huge mess all over my deck.

My husband has a big 4-wheel drive pick-up that gets horrible gas mileage and that we only use to haul trash to the transfer station (dump). It's really high off the ground, and until he had the step bar attached, I had to use a step stool to get inside. And I'm 5' 8" tall.

In my never-ending fight with the raccoons, I thought I would throw them off by putting the garbage directly into the back of the pick-up.

BUT....the damn raccoons figured out how to get IN to the back of the pick-up, opened the garbage, and made another huge mess!

It's ON, baby!!!!

Wordless Wednesday: Trash Shadow Art

2008-05-21T01:37:00.002-04:00

Photo found on the internet

The Vault

2008-05-20T00:14:00.005-04:00

I have a habit that embarrasses Darling Daughter. Wait, who am I trying to kid? She's 13 - everything I do embarrasses her.

But this particular habit is that when I get out of the car to pump my own gas, and I swipe my credit card through the pump card reader, I put my credit card into my bra, and then start pumping gas. I usually forget it's there and then go to the store and think I've lost my card.

Hey, I'm middle-aged, gravity has already taken it's toll - it may as well be good for SOMETHING. Heck, I could stick a can of soda in there and smuggle it into the theater. But not chocolate. That would melt and make a mess.

I thought I was the only one who did this. My daughter has certainly made it clear that I'm a freak in this regard.

Then we had an event at the church, and I was approached by a visitor (a woman) who asked me for a phone number. I gave her my answer - and she wrote it down and TUCKED IT INTO HER BRA. (I was standing there at that precise moment with a credit card tucked into my OWN bra.)

Just then another women from church walked by and I asked her if I had given the correct phone number. "Hold on, let me check," she said, as she PULLED HER CELL PHONE OUT FROM HER BRA.

Now I have a new name for my bra. I call it THE VAULT.